Vegas, Baby Page #3

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just gonna start having kids.

I can't wait any more.

I would wake up panicking

about being a single parent.

But I'm not doing this alone.

I have my mom, and her support.

Athena's very resourceful.

I think she'll manage it.

I think it will be hard.

But I think she'll work it out.

New York, New York.

- How are you?

- Good.

How was your morning?

Good.

I've always known I

wanted to have kids.

But I had infertility problems,

so I said, that's what I want.

And if you're willing to

do it, then we can date.

Hello.

Hello.

What do we have?

Yay.

I've been told just

to stop trying.

Maybe God doesn't want

you to have children.

Just adopt.

As if we haven't tried.

And then purple on

the sides, too, maybe.

We just felt the best option

was just to take a mortgage

out, and go through in vitro.

Just put it up so you can see.

They put in two

eggs, and they both took.

So my wife got

pregnant with twins.

Can you read this?

Yeah.

What does it say?

Happy birthday to my

baby girl in heaven.

Mommy loves you and misses you.

My son was 20 weeks

when my water broke.

And then I was

immediately rushed

into surgery, because I didn't

want to lose both children.

About three weeks later

my water broke again,

and Katalynn passed

away a couple

hours after she was born.

I could not look at this

book for a long time.

But when I got

strength, and when

we got stronger as a

couple, we realized

that it was something special.

Hey, I don't know about

you, but I still struggle

going into our baby's room.

It's still hard.

And so it's, like, best

when the door's closed.

There's a part of

me inside of me

that feels like it would be

best for us just to start over.

You know, be in a

different relationship

with somebody else.

And try to have your

family with somebody else.

Because that pain that we

have will always be there.

And that's the

challenge, is trying

to fight through that urge to

say, you know what, I'm done.

I just wanna move on.

And that's the real challenge.

Yup.

Hi.

Ready to do this?

One, two, three.

We've made it this far.

Love you.

You too.

I'm just willing to take

the risk again, to be a mom.

So this contest is our best

chance at having a family.

I think it's

important to acknowledge

that there's no fair or

right way to do this.

It's just an inherently

difficult process.

And whoever does come

out, you know, a winner,

the other people are not, you

know, losers by any stretch

of the imagination.

Her, I just felt

like she's so broken.

And it was a very raw moment.

But, yeah, I feel--

I feel concerned for her.

I am absolutely

glad I am not a judge.

I wouldn't be good

at it, and I wouldn't

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