Van Wilder Page #4

Taj proved to be

an excellent company accountant...

as well as our most valued client.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for information

on a current student here, Van Wilder.

Freshman year.

I'll get the others.

- Wait. There are more of these?

- Actually, there are many more.

It seems Mr. Wilder didn't quite

come out of his shell...

until mid-sophomore year.

Thanks.

It's like this itchy,

rashy burning sensation.

And it hurts when I--

- Dance?

- When I pee.

- You hooked up with a burner.

- Yeah.

She seemed like a nice girl,

said it was her first time?

Always check the quality of the turf

before you step onto the field.

Listen, go to the campus hospital,

see Stu.

Tell him Van sent you, and remember--

Don't be a fool. Wrap your tool.

Thanks, Van. Thanks a lot.

Don't thank me.

Thank penicillin.

Crazy kids with their crazy VD.

- You must be Van.

- Hi.

I'm Gwen Pearson,

staff writer for The Liberator.

Okay, look, that old bag

is stronger than she looks.

I'm doing a human

interest piece on you.

I'm flattered.

I'd love for your piece to be on me.

But sadly I don't do interviews.

Never have, never will. I do lunch.

My editor did say

this would be a challenge.

Van, second date with Emily.

Blue. Brings out your eyes. Kid's got

killer eyes, not unlike yourself.

- Has anyone told you that before?

- Yes, my boyfriend.

Is it true that this is

your seventh year at Coolidge?

Carry the two--

Yes, that's correct.

So what's your boyfriend's name?

Does he go to school here?

- Does he appreciate you?

- That's none of your business.

You know what? You're right.

His name's Richard.

He's premed.

Van, you have a 1:30

with the swim team.

On it.

- You have an assistant?

- Yes, I do.

Is there anything you

can tell me about yourself...

that I haven't already found out

from your public records?

I'll be at the quad tomorrow night

at 10:
00. Sound good?

- It's a date.

- It's an interview, not a date.

Gwen, first dates are interviews.

You going out tonight?

Rob's coming over.

I'm closing in on that diamond, Gwen.

The dynamic duo

will seal the deal tonight.

Good luck, ladies.

Somebody got awfully dressed up

to quiz me on my anatomy midterm.

I'm so sorry, baby.

I totally forgot.

- I have an interview for the paper.

- At 10:
00 at night?

Can't you postpone it?

Gwen, first exam-- most crucial.

It's not like you're on a deadline

for the Boston Globe.

It's the only time he had available.

I'll call you as soon as I get back.

Bye.

He?

All right. Gwen, all right!

You're just in time.

- Take your clothes off.

- I'm not taking off my clothes.

It is the Naked Mile Run. Everybody

else is in their birthday suit.

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