Vamp U Page #2

pledging with anyone?

Yeah, with, uh, kappa omicron.

Kappa Os are the biggest hos!

Unh!

Unh!

Well, which ones are

you guys in, again?

We're STDs.

STDs, gonna give

you the disease.

We're sigma tau delta.

Hey, it's the great one.

Why does he have an umbrella?

He's got a skin disease,

and he's cool as sh*t.

That's Dr. Gretzky.

Oh, that's him?

Yeah, he teaches history.

Remember, I tried to get

you to take that class?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I-I mean, I guess I'll add it.

Yeah, my advisor said

everybody loves him.

He's awesome.

Your advisor talked about him?

Yeah, you know, he walked into

my advisor's office, and he

goes, "speak of the vampire."

"Speak of the vampire"?

This is history 205.

I'm your Professor, Dr. Gretzky.

Who's here to add the class?

I must be popular.

Professor Gretzky, I'm sure you

get this all the time, but

were you named after

Wayne Gretzky?

I was named Wayne Gretzky

long before Wayne Gretzky was

named Wayne Gretzky.

I'm pretty sure

he's older than you.

He's like 50.

I'm not named after him.

He wishes.

Wayne Gretzky wasn't even

in the NHL when I was born.

Hasn't anyone ever heard

of a coincidence?!

It's okay, Tom.

Sorry, Dr. G.

It's all right.

We're going to cover

coincidences in history.

You know, you really upset

your daughter today.

I'm not gonna change my

beliefs just because it's her

first day of college.

You know, I've been meaning

to ask you about that.

You know Ron from whole foods...

well, he grew up Amish, and he

said the Amish have no problem

with being out in the sun.

And he has mirrors in his house.

Yeah, well, we don't

like being photographed.

You go to mass.

My mother was catholic.

Mary, I don't

believe you're Amish.

I gave up believing

that years ago.

Well, what do you think I am?

I don't care.

I always just wrote it off as

slight neuroses... might be

easier just to let it slide.

You know what?

If you're not careful, you're

gonna lose your relationship

with your daughter.

Ted, there are things about

me that I just can't change

and that I don't

like to talk about.

I would think you

should understand that.

What's that supposed to mean?

When was the last time you

wanted to make love to me?

That's not fair.

Don't worry.

I just chalk it up

to slight neuroses.

So, he cuts the guy's arm

off, but he doesn't beat him

with it... he slaps him

with his own hand.

Genghis really did have a

wonderful sense of humor.

I mean, he would... he actually

would laugh the most during the

physical act of love.

I remember one time when I was...

when somebody wrote down,

um, that he was entertaining a woman

with a leg-length discrepancy.

As he pulled the boot off the short

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