Under The Tuscan Sun Page #11

Oh, jeez.

So, what's it like

having one of these in Cortona?

I hear the town midwife's good.

She puts a knife under the bed

to cut the pain.

Florence is an hour away.

You're gonna deliver this baby

in a hospital gown

designed by Armani.

She ran out on me.

She said she realized she didn't

want to be a mother after all.

Oh, disaster, Frances.

How do you do it?

How do you ever breathe again?

Pretty soon.

God, I missed you.

Marcello, I really

think I'd better stay here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

How about next weekend?

Okay, well how about

the one after that?

No, of course, I understand.

I won't forget you.

I think a lot about you, too.

Okay.

Well, until then.

Bye.

There's something strange

about these trees.

It's like they know.

And they know

that we know that they know.

They're creepy.

Creepy Italian trees.

The baby's gonna like them

'cause it's gonna be

a creepy Italian baby

who goes around saying,

"Ciao, Mamma,"

and doing that backward

hand-wave thing.

Life is strange.

Where were you going

when I arrived?

Nowhere important.

What's he like?

He's a creepy Italian.

- So go see him.

- I will.

I want to spend time

with my creepy American friend.

I refuse to screw up

your love life.

Don't be ridiculous, Patti.

You are my love life.

Frances,

could you come up here, please?

There's hot water

in the toilet bowl.

Oh, my God.

- That's close to boiling.

- Mm-hmm.

They must have crossed

a pipe somewhere.

Oh, this is really bad,

isn't it?

Well, it's not good, unless you

want to give your ass a facial.

That's a contradiction in terms.

I guess it'd be more

of an ass-cial.

Oh, God. Go.

Go, go, go.

I'm sorry, Frances!

He's sorry.

We have nowhere else

to be together.

What does that make me?

Saint Francesca,

patron saint of horny teenagers?

Pawel, you were doing it

in my bed.

I don't even do it in my bed.

Please, Francesca, help us.

My father don't let us see

each other.

Maybe he thinks you're young

and shouldn't be...

It's because I'm Polish.

It will be terrible

if we are not together.

"Assassinate."

Did you say "assassinate"?

Did she say you were going

to assassinate somebody?

No, she misunderstand.

I didn't say...

Amore, I didn't say,

"assassino."

I said, "I'm going to ask Nino"

for money to help us

get married.

- Oh!

- "Ask Nino." Oh!

I didn't understand.

Married?

You barely understand

what the other is saying.

We are in love.

And I go with him this weekend.

To the flag-throwing festival.

I am going to throw the flag.

Throw the flag.

Why?

Because I can do it

as good as any Italian man.

That's why.

And her father will see.

Francesca?

- Francesca?

- My father.

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