Two Weeks Page #4

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So I have divvied them up.

You can trade,

but no fighting.

Got it?

Got it.

Open that, after.

Oh.

And there's this.

You wrote your own obituary?

I had some time.

Um, do you have

anything for, you know,

the funeral?

Just cremate me. No funeral.

Do whatever you want.

I don't care.

I don't think

I can be there anyway.

Hey, Matthew.

Hey.

Hey, Matthew.

How was the trip?

My ass has been

asleep since Virginia.

I didn't even see

his lips move.

Come in and say hi.

And then I've got a book

for you to read.

Hey.

I'm giving you

the best stuff.

It's not who gets

what jewelry.

It's that b*tch

getting any of it.

Oh, she's your

brother's wife.

I thought you hated her.

I never said that.

You did, actually,

at their wedding reception.

Egads! Was I drunk?

Well, I'm wiser now.

They're married,

for better or for worse.

Don't make him choose

between his family

and his wife.

Hi, Jim.

Oh, Julia. Come on in.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

All I did was

kiss a few boys.

You were in the janitor's

closet doing it

with Harry Wexler.

Yes.

My God, Harry Wexler?

But discretion was

never your strong suit.

If you hadn't published

their "lip ratings"

in the Nottingham Rag,

you probably could've

gotten away with it.

What is this?

Julia brought

a tuna casserole.

Tuna, noodles,

Campbell's cream

of mushroom soup.

Jesus.

I know.

What are you doing?

Everyone's gonna

start bringing food.

We have to

stay ahead of this

or we're gonna be buried.

Keith.

Keith, Julia's

Mom's best friend.

I see what you're saying.

We should probably

dirty some plates, too.

Good idea.

Gerald Henderson,

three lips out of 10.

He was not pleased.

And?

He had a little dick, too.

Oh, stop!

Yes, he did.

Stop!

Tiny.

I'm so sorry, Neat.

I've gotta

drive back tonight.

I could only

take the day off.

It's always good to see you.

They don't make

friends like us anymore,

do they?

No. Not anymore.

See you.

Yeah, see you.

Love you.

KEITH:

Thanks for coming, Julia.

What are you

talking about?

She'd come for me,

I'd come for her.

Well, thanks.

And the casserole,

it was great.

Is it gonna be in Syracuse?

After?

Yeah, that's where

the relatives are.

I'll be there.

And I'll call every day.

Don't you remember

your grandfather?

KEITH:
I was five

when he died.

Not at all?

You tell me.

Tell me about him.

He was a tailor.

He owned a dry-cleaning shop.

And your mother?

Nana was a housewife.

Um, a great cook.

Always entertaining.

This explains why

you can't sew or cook.

Exactly.

Luckily Nana

is still with us,

so I don't have to.

What?

Nothing.

All my grandkids

are about five.

Some of them younger.

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