Two Smart People

Synopsis: Criminal Ace Connors agrees to return to New York and stand trial for stealing $500,000 worth of bonds so he can serve a light five-year sentence and enjoy his loot (safely stowed away in the cover of a cook book) when he gets out. Detective Bob Simms is tasked with escorting Connors back to New York. With five days for the cross-country trip, Connors plans for stops in Texas and New Orleans to have a few final days of fun before he goes to prison. Ricki Woodner, a con artist who met Connors at his hotel, is persuaded by Fly Feletti (a bitter colleague of Connors) to get close to Connors and take the bonds. She joins Connors and Simms on the train and Ricki and Ace start falling for each other. Feletti wants the bonds and keeps an eye on Ricki to make sure she doesn't double-cross him. After a romantic detour into Mexico, Ace, Ricki, and Simms head to New Orleans for the Mardi Gras celebration, with Feletti close behind.
93 min


[music continues]

(male #1)

Fine art of cookery.

A lot of good recipes?


'Best in the world.'

(male #1)

You want this wrapped?

'Ah, no. Don't bother.'

'I like to have it handy to

browse through at odd moments.

(Ace) 'My fondest regards

to your dear wife. '

She will be young again

for a full hour.

Good night, friend.

Good night.

- Ace.

- Huh?

Take care of yourself, sir.

I'll try to.


Oh, yes, Mr. Connors.

Please, this way.

Excuse me.

- Has Mr. Chadwick arrived?

- Not yet.

- I'll bring him.

- Thank you.

Ah, good evening, Mr. Connors.

Hello, Fred.


- Mm. Excellent, Fred.

- Thank you.

Except that it needs,

with your permission

just a touch of saffron.




[music continues]

Isn't there some mistake?


'No, Mr. Connors.'

'The young lady asked

for your table.'

Oh, of course.

How stupid of me.

I didn't recognize you

in that new hairdo.

Naturally, since

we've never met.

But I knew we'd meet somewhere

the moment I laid eyes on you.

Do you read tea leaves too?

I do much better with olives.

A dry martini, Sir?

- Two dry martinis.

- Yes, Sir.

I, uh, like this,

but I have a guest coming.

It might be embarrassing

if I had to introduce you

as darling.

What's your name?

Ricki Woodner.

Mr. Chadwick asked me

to meet him here.

Miss or Mrs. Woodner?


Oh, "The Fine Art of Cookery."

Having servant trouble,

Mr. Connors?

No. Just a hobby of mine.

Do you happen to know

his recipe for ortolans?

Saut a number of large plums.

On each plum, place an ortolan

wrapped in grape leaves.

Bake for five minutes and serve.

But the plums are

not to be eaten.

- They're merely served..

- As a garnish.

...for the ortolans.

What are you two talking about?

And what in the world

are ortolans?

Like turkeys.

Only this big.

Hello, Mr. Chadwick.

- Hello.

- Well, hello.

We've just discovered

we're soul mates.


Dwight, who is this

wonderful Mr. Connors?

I didn't know he was a cook.

I thought he was an oil man.

Olive or banana?

- Lubricating.

- Ha-ha, ha-ha.

- Bring me scotch, will you?

- Yes, Sir.

Go ahead, Connors.

Tell her about the deal.

Why surely, you

wouldn't be interested?

Oh, but I would.

I have an option on eight miles

of quite beautiful swamps.



With millions of gallons of oil

just begging to be taken out.

Oil out of swamps? Wouldn't that

be a bit difficult?

Not at all. Same principle

as underseas drilling.

You sink a well here..

...drain the oil off

the property there.

Slant drilling.

Oh, sometimes called

crooked drilling.

Ha ha.

(Ace) 'My option expires in five days.'

I was fortunate enough to get

an advance copy of this

Petroline Incorporate report.

12,000 barrels a day, huh?

Well, that looks..

All you have to do is put up

some of your bonds as collateral

to make the option good.

'We stand to split a nice,

cool million in five days.'

Understanding, of course,

that I retain 51% interest.

Oh, definitely. Oh, that's

absolutely understood.

Well, it sounds like

a... very good deal to me.

Very good indeed.

We can talk more about it later.

Now, how about a little dinner?

But drilling for oil isn't such

a good deal though, is it?

- Have you heard of Rockefeller?

- Ha ha, yeah.

Yes, but I knew

my father a lot better.

He invested the family fortune

in a couple of wells.

Then, when he lost

the old homestead

we looked up the figures.

Would you believe it?

Eleven wild cat wells

out of twelve are failures.

Isn't that amazing?

I-I, um, are you

certain of that?

Well, I ought to be.

My father wanted it engraved

on his tombstone

but we talked him out of it.

Eleven out of twelve?

- That's right.

- That's alright.

Well, ah, Connors, perhaps

on second thought

I should investigate this

a little more thoroughly, huh?

Why don't we just

forget it, Mr. Chadwick.

I don't mind keeping

it all to myself.

[Ricki chuckles]

- About that dinner...

- Oh, now, wait a minute.

It still may be a good deal.

(Ricki) 'Well, if you

believe in miracles..'

(Chadwick) 'No, I do

not believe in miracles.'

Shall we just say that Dwight

here isn't the speculative type?

(Dwight) 'Yes. Why don't

we say that, Connors?'

- 'And with no hard feelings.'

- Certainly not.

Shall we start with

a little asparagus bisque?

Oh, I'd love to, but I forgot.

I promised Ricki to drop by her

rooms and see some paintings.


But, of course, Miss Woodner,

you're an artist.

These are part of the collection

that belonged to my uncle.

As a matter of fact

they're smuggled in from Europe,

and I'm thinking of buying them.

By all means, let's stop

and see the paintings.

Oh, I don't think you'd be

very interested, Mr. Connors.

Oh, but I would, Miss Woodner.

Anything in oil.




Yes, sir.

N-now to me, that's a very

interesting composition.

Certainly is.

And the handsome figure

of a woman too.

My old sweetheart.

- Your what?

- Yes.

I visited her every afternoon

one spring in Paris.

- When she hung in the Louvre.

- Oh, she, ha ha, the Louvre.

The Louvre?

I thought you said

this came from Brussels.

Perhaps that was the year it was

loaned to the French gallery.

Very likely.

That's odd.

Oh, what's the matter?

Well, nothing.

I must be mistaken.

About what?

I always thought the artist,

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Ethel Hill

Ethel Hill (April 6, 1898, Sacramento, California – May 17, 1954, Hollywood, California) was an American screenwriter and race horse owner.When Dore Schary first went to work for Columbia Pictures as a new screenwriter, he was paired with the veteran Hill to learn from her; together, they wrote the screenplay for Fury of the Jungle (1933). Hill was described by Marc Norman in his book What Happens Next: A History of American Screenwriting as "an extremely dear and generous woman [who] had an interest in horses and often wore jodhpurs and riding gear to the studio." Perhaps her best known film is The Little Princess (1939), starring Shirley Temple. Hill bought the Thoroughbred race horse War Knight, a son of Preakness winner High Quest, as a foal "with her $1500 life savings". He went on to win 10 of 28 starts, including the 1944 Arlington Handicap. He was injured in 1945 and did not win any of his five 1946 starts leading up to the $100,000 added Santa Anita Handicap, which he proceeded to win in a photo finish. He retired to stud afterward. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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