Two Night Stand

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1

Sh*t, f***.

F***, f***, f***, f***, f***...

Looking for homemade, fresh-baked goods?

Come to Terry's Country

bake shop in Red Hook.

- Home of "Family Circle's" magazine...

- ...with it's stunning natural beauty,

Fiji is the ideal holiday

tropical paradise for couples.

Well, Dave, while we didn't get the

white Christmas we were hoping for,

mother nature may have

a few tricks up her sleeve.

We're getting forecasts of a

hurricane-force blizzard coming tonight...

Oh, Megan, right where I left you.

- How adorable.

- You caught me red-handed.

I'm just... I'm such a sucker

for the classic American novel.

- Bad day?

- No, I'm just exhausted.

Yeah, I know, me too, right?

Maybe it's time... to get a job.

- You're telling me...

- Yes, I am.

I look for fulfilling work all the time.

I just happen to be taking a

break whenever you're around.

It's like studying when mom is watching.

Did you talk to your

parents about the lease?

Because the deadline's on the first and

Cedric is willing to take over if you...

Yeah, no, I haven't made a

decision on that yet, per se...

How did you not make a decision yet?

I mean, what did you do today?

Or what did you do this week?

I did Christmas.

- And I also started online dating.

- Seriously?

- Yes, yeah, shut up.

- No, I'm proud.

Meet anyone?

I said, started. I'm not a machine.

And, I also really like that idea

of going Dutch on principle except,

you know, I don't have any money so it's

kind of more of an intellectual exercise.

Hey, where are you going?

You just got home.

Cedric's friend is having

this birthday thing at this bar.

So then you're not cooking dinner?

No...

Yeah.

Do you want to come?

Well, it kind of depends

on the cake situation.

Well, the birthday boy is single.

And he's not the brightest but he's pretty,

so he's perfect for a one-night stand.

I don't know. Do you think I'm ready?

Who cares? I'm ready for you

to be ready. I mean seriously,

how long has it been? Aren't you horny?

Now see, I knew you two little freaks

be having these type of conversations

when I'm not around.

I knew it, especially you.

- Hi, Cedric.

- I knew it, I caught you.

Well, yes, no, I'm horny but I'm also...

somewhat lazy, sometimes.

So the two counteract,

like dueling wizards...

Not anymore. Tonight is the night.

- Faiza's setting me up.

- I'm thinking Ben.

- I like that, that's cool.

- Ben.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- What's up? ID please.

- I'm a girl.

No, I'm sorry, you look kinda young.

Take it like a compliment, all right?

Sh*t!

How did you lose your ID again?

You don't go anywhere.

Okay, wait, look,

I am old enough, I swear.

- Do you see that, right there? It moves.

- Oh, my God, Megan.

Hey, ID.

Oh, sh*t.

Awkward.

Hey.

- I heard you're doing good.

- From who?

I don't know, I just...

said that to be nice.

Chris, I think this girl's

trying to get by you.

Oh, no. This is... this is Becca.

Becca, this is Faiza

and Cedric and Megan.

Megan and I, we were together for a bit.

Is the abridged version, just like that?

You two coming in or what?

Nice to meet you.

Good seeing you, Megan.

I don't even want to

hear you guys say it.

Listen, if we knew that he was going

to be here I would have warned you.

This is a serious pattern,

I am regressing.

Last year I was in college and I was Chris's

fiance and I drank wine in restaurants.

And now I am at home all day in

my underwear, and I'm nobody's nothing,

and I can't even get into a bar.

What is happening to me?

I am going backwards!

I am Benjamin Button-ing!

He moved on, so what, so can you.

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