Two Much Page #5

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calling for Art.

- Hello?

- Hello. I'm calling Art Dodge.

His gallery said I could

reach him at this number.

Fifteen minutes?

I'll call back.

It's his brother, Bart.

All right. Fine.

Bye.

Fine, fine. Fine.

Gloria, it's me.

Listen, it's important.

Call me at Betty's

in exactly, uh...

twenty minutes.

Hi.

Hi.

- Oh, your brother called.

- What? What did you say?

She said your brother called.

What's the matter? Is he dead?

- Since when do you have a brother?

- Since I was 12 minutes old.

- You're twins?

- Yeah.

Huh. Absolutely identical.

Yeah.

That's a happy thought.

Well, we look the same, but,

uh, we've got nothing in common.

I mean, he paints, he

broods, he lives for his art.

He doesn't even like

to sell it.

Maybe he just likes

what he does.

Yeah, who knows?

It takes all kinds.

You know what? He burns some of

his paintings. He's... He's crazy.

That sounds like a colossal

waste of time to me.

Sounds like he might

even be a human being.

- When was the last time you saw him?

- Years.

Last I heard, he was in Italy.

Sorry.

Hello?

Yeah. Hold on.

It's for you.

- For me?

- Mm-hmm.

Really?

- Hello?

- At the tone, the time will be...

exactly 8:
30.

Beep.

Gloria, Gloria.

Have you got Bart there?

- I just don't know how to answer that one.

- Let me talk to him.

There must be an easier way

to get a girl into the sack.

Bart? Oh, God!

I can't believe

it's you, man!

I can't believe this is how I'm

using my degree in architecture.

How long are you here for?

What are your plans?

Met this guy a couple of days

ago, works for Sentinel Express.

Maybe we'll have a few drinks. I'll

check out his overnight delivery.

You know, I really

want to see you.

Your relationships with women are

getting more and more bizarre, Art.

- You want to get that looked at.

- When can we get together?

Maybe you should try the

personals. You know what I mean?

- I see, I see.

- Have you considered masturbation?

Well, I can't

promise anything.

Oh, come on.

Promise me something.

- Okay, we'll talk tomorrow.

- Sure, if you're still alive and out of a straitjacket.

- Seriously. Look after yourself,

will ya?

You now owe me four weeks' salary.

- Okay, okay. See you. All right?

- Okay.

Bye, bye, bye.

This guy is incredible.

Love to meet your family.

Personally, I'd rather meet

the Manson family.

"Furthermore,

Mr. President...

"the situation in Algiers

is a disaster.

Dad, Bart's in Miami.

"And the firing...

"of the surgeon general...

"was a major...

"mistake.

What a woman."

I said Bart is in town.

That's nice.

You... You know who

Bart is, don't you?

Of course I do.

I mean, your son,

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