Two for the Road Page #3

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stopping for lunch.

The trouble with women is,

they try to label you.

Put you in a pigeon hole.

What they don't realise is

that only a pigeon fits

in a pigeon hole.

Marriage is all

they ever think about

and I'm not going to get married

for at least 40 years.

Not that I have anything

against sex.

It's contracts I don't like. Promises

of long service and good conduct.

Are you a virgin?

I thought you were.

I can always tell.

Congratulations.

I was two years

at the University of Chicago.

Studying virgin detection?

Only at night school.

Architecture during the day.

I always thought American women

would be different.

I thought they'd didn't have

inhibitions and it was free love.

No?

But, no.

The nice American girl

may play it cool and modern,

but what she wants

is what her grandmother wanted.

Your head stuffed and hung

on the living room wall.

If you don't want it that way,

you can take yourself elsewhere,

speaking quite generally,

of course.

Of course.

Who was she?

What do you mean?

Her name was Cathy Seligman,

if you must know.

She was selfish, grasping,

Philistine,

materialistic, stubborn,

opinionated.

I was crazy about her.

Lucky for you,

you'll never meet her.

She's now Mrs. Howard Manchester.

I always knew you two

had to meet.

"There's only one drawback,"

Howard said.

"We'll have to go to Greece. "

- Remember saying that, Howie?

- Yes.

"Drawback," Of course

I absolutely flipped.

Howie, come off it.

After landing in London, first

thing was to get in touch with you.

I never thought you newlyweds would

want to travel with us ancients.

We don't care who we travel

with frankly.

Hey, tell me something.

Mommy, do snakes have nipples?

No they don't, Ruthie.

Do they, Howie?

No, they don't.

She's hooked on nature.

It's wonderful you two

were free to come with us.

I know we're all going to be

terrific friends.

Joanna, you know Mark

used to be my favourite beau.

Second favourite.

Favourite.

That was before you came on

the scenario, Howie.

Of course.

- Well, why don't they?

- Why don't who what?

Snakes have nipples.

Because they lay eggs.

Cathy, did you remember to pack

the anti-snake serum?

Good.

Mark, do you remember

David Lewinson?

No, David?

It was Woody Lewinson.

He's become a fine physician

in New York city

and he gave Howie a course

on how to treat snake bites.

How to inject the serum

subcutaneously and all that.

- We've invested over 50 dollars.

- 60.

60 dollars

in anti-snake equipment.

I sure hope somebody

gets bitten by a snake.

Well, that's my 100 exactly.

Let me see.

Mark, it's you to drive.

We change places

and that's all there is to it.

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