Trick Page #5

But you?

You of all people, l thought

you would understand.

This is really hard for me.

l don't know how to meet people.

l get really weird...

and l make it more important

than it should be.

Can't you do it tomorrow night?

She's been in France all summer.

You can't ask a one-night stand

to come back tomorrow night!

Let's flip for it.

Sh*t.

-Flip?

-Yeah, flip.

Heads.

No! Tails!

l have a token.

What are you looking for?

Condom.

You want ''New York City

Transit Authority''...

or ''Good for one fare''?

Merci.

''Good for one fare.''

Where do you live?

Brooklyn.

Yeah. But let's not go

all the way out there.

Oh, you have a boyfriend

or something?

No, but it's not really

my apartment.

You see, l rent the room

from this old woman...

and she doesn't like me

bringing guys back to the place.

lf you're not into this,

l totally understand.

No, l am.

Well, what about Wonder Bar?

What do we want to go

to a bar for?

Right. Right.

Yeah.

l usually don't go to bars.

Well, l did tonight, but...

Well, l go to bars,

but not a lot.

l used to think

l didn't like gay people...

but now, actually, l think

that l do like gay people.

There was a time

that l felt like...

l wasn't one of them.

You know? Culturally.

You suck dick, right?

Yeah, but what l mean is,

l don't have bleached hair...

and l don't look good

in Lycra...

and l don't work out...much.

You ever had a boyfriend?

l wouldn't call him a boyfriend.

He was actually something

totally random.

l met him in the library...

and he was really cute...

and he had this ltalian accent,

which l love.

l totally love guys

with accents.

l mean, l was nuts.

l mean, l was totally goofy

for this guy.

But then, you know, one day...

we just stopped having

things to talk about.

Then l stopped calling him

to see if he'd call me...

and he didn't.

lt was probably better anyways.

l mean, l didn't have a bedroom.

l mean, what's the use

of having a boyfriend...

if you don't have

a bedroom, right?

Besides, l started getting

this nagging feeling...

you know, that he was lying

to me all the time.

l don't think he was ltalian.

l actually think he was

Puerto Rican or something.

Well, Gabe,

maybe l should get going.

Uh, wait! Uh...

l do know this one guy.

From my writer's workshop.

Well, l don't know.

Maybe we could, uh...

go to his place.

Great. Call him.

He's not at home, actually.

He's at a piano bar.

l told my friend, the writer

How happy l would be

lf he'd write an opening number

Especially for me

But when he had it finished

lt came as quite a shock

He handed me a song titled

How do you like my...

l said, ''You can't do that

in public''

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