Trick Page #3

We weren't really dating.

Ask anyone from El Camino.

They'll say we were.

We went to one prom

back when l thought l was--

Thought he liked girls then.

And l was always wondering

why l was making the first move.

l thought it was me.

l told my mother Gabriel's gay.

And she was, like,

''Oh, really? You never said.''

l was, like, ''Didn't l mention

he's a musical theater writer?

''Hello! Do l have

to spell it out for you?''

That was a million years ago.

You know what Gabe

used to call me?

Puss. You're so kooky.

l had this James Bond thing,

you know, uh...

Octopussy, P*ssy Galore.

Hmm. l didn't like it

when other people said it...

but it was OKwhen Gabe

called me Puss or Puss-Puss...

or P*ssy.

Actually,

l didn't really like P*ssy.

Do you have any nicknames?

Beer Can.

Did you used to drink a lot

in college?

Gabe's writing a part for me

in his musical--the maid.

lt's actually a very big part.

lt's really good.

l sing all his songs.

He's a wonderful writer.

You're so very talented.

l don't know how l feel about

writing musicals right now.

l just know you're gonna be

the next Andrew Lloyd Webber...

or Stephen Sondheim

or something.

l spent the last eight years

of my life writing...

in a genre that's been dying

a slow death since ''Gypsy.''

He's a golden boy.

He really is.

You love musicals.

l used to.

Musicals are way too contrived

and phony and campy and stupid.

l don't even know

why l write them.

You write songs?

The music, too?

And you...play the piano?

Let's do a number!

Just one. He'll love it.

His songs are so great.

Katherine, l don't think that

Mark's interested in my songs.

Do one.

Really?

Yeah.

l'd like to hear one.

See?

All right. One number,

and then you're leaving.

-Cross your heart?

-Cross my heart.

God, l have to get

to my show anyway.

Oh, this is so fun.

l tell ya, if Harold Prince

heard this...

l've heard that

all the world's a stage

And we are only players

Acting out

some predetermined page

But it is lonely as can be

With nobody opposite me

Then

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

God, l'm sorry, but that dog...

You sing.

No, l sing his songs.

You were singing with her.

-l was?

-Yeah. Sing it.

Well, Katherine usually--

l'll sing along with you.

Let him do it alone.

l heard that

all the world's a st--

No. Just where she left off.

Enter you

Voila, it's showtime

You brought the house down

With a dance and a dum-diddy

Enter you

ln less than no time

l, uh, still have

to figure out this part.

Up went the curtain

l've got it.

Perry.

How's it going?

l was feeling, you know,

a little torchy...

a little chanteusey, so l

stumbled into a piano bar...

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