Tremors: A Cold Day in Hell Page #4

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Satellites up here

are more miss than hit.

But don't worry.

It's all up here.

That's reassuring.

How is it back there,

Mr. Gummer?

My seismic vibration monitor

is completely useless.

Yeah, well, you can log in to the

inter-Web when we get you on station.

- Peachy.

- Hey, I'm a big fan of your series.

I loved that episode on dried meats

and insects as proteins.

I see you're smuggling home-brew

grain alcohol into dry territory.

Well, the local tribal authority

are a bit blue-nosed,

so I'm forced to bring it

in under the radar.

Don't ask, don't tell, right?

BURT:
Yeah.

(SCREECHING)

Travis!

I see it.

- It can't be.

- It is.

- It is what?

- We got a hostile aerial incursion.

What's your altitude?

1,400 feet.

I suggest you take evasive

action and put this plane on the ground.

Ass Blasters in the Arctic?

(SCREECHING)

They're keying in

on your engine!

- Yeah, they're heat seekers.

- Who's they?

BOTH:
Ass Blasters!

(CREATURE SCREECHING)

- Bird strike.

- We've lost the engine.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

No sh*t, Sherlock!

Get this down! Now!

Stand by for some chop!

Does that mean crash?

(LAUGHS)

Gravity never loses!

The best we can hope for

is a draw!

- Brace for impact!

- Impact? What impact?

(ALL GRUNTING)

(PANTS) And we're here!

Whoa. We're so

out of here!

(GRUNTS)

Oh, no.

Here they come,

the men in black.

Well, well, well!

What do we have here?

Tom and Jerry?

Frick and Frank?

No, more like

Butch and Sundance.

Starsky and Hutch.

Do I smell alcohol?

My bird runs on bio-fuel.

And you're bootlegging moonshine

into a First Nations territory?

That is a big time no-no!

You don't mind if we help

ourselves now, do you?

Well, there's a matter

of payment, eh?

Put it on my tab.

BURT:
And who might

you be?

I'm your next-door neighbor

while you're up here

on your little worm hunt.

But there's no welcome mat

on my doorstep, so tread lightly.

A piece of advice, Mr. Gummer.

You stay out of my way

and pay your taxes.

Consider yourself

properly warned.

Do I know you?

I don't know. Do you?

Since we're neighbors,

here's some neighborly advice.

Beat a retreat until I get

this area cleared out.

Retreat? Hell, no. We're just

getting started up here.

Then find a safe place

to hunker down.

Consider yourself

properly warned.

You know that skid mark?

What can you tell me

about him?

MAC:
Well, rumor has it

he's up here working

on some Area 51 stuff.

Some joint US-Canadian

turd factory

being developed by Harpo...

Darpo...

You mean DARPA?

That's the one! Know them?

Yeah, they're the acronym

for evil.

(GRUNTS)

You must be Valerie?

At your service. And thanks

for answering our SOS.

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