Trailer Park Of Terror Page #3

Oh, sh*t!

Those are some f***ing ponies.

- Alex. Stop it.

Sweet tea?

You didn't have to do that for us.

Thank you.

Oh, it's nothing. Come on.

Thank you.

- Oh, you're welcome.

- Thank you.

- Precious, precious darlings.

Thank you.

- I'm Norma.

- I'm Pastor Lewis.

We had a little accident up there in the rain.

We're with the Vertical Trinity Ministries.

- That's nice.

- This is swell and all,

but I think we should be

getting back to our bus.

Let me know if you all want yours

a little harder.

- This better?

- Yeah.

- Look, ma'am...

- Norma, darling.

- We could really use some help.

- If y'all are looking for help,

you came to the right place.

Jesus!

- Great.

Now, just calm down.

- Hold on.

This always happens. Don't worry about it.

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be okay, Tiffany, all right?

- It's gonna be fine.

- Let's tell a scary story.

Great.

Come on. I love a scary story.

Come on, who's got one?

I know one of you has got one.

How about you, pepper pot? No?

Dark shadows, what about you?

Hell, you already look like

one of the devil's daughters.

- I know you got a scary story.

- I don't. I'm sorry.

Nothing.

- What about you, cupcake?

- No.

Come on, lady, look at her.

She is a scary story.

Screw you, Alex. You're so f***ing twisted.

Wrong again, Tiffany.

That would be your last name.

- Let's knock it off, people.

- What about her?

Why don't you tell us her story?

Well, every picture has one, right?

Shall I?

Well, once upon a time,

there was a lovely princess,

and she lived in a kingdom

ruled by evil men.

She lived with her mama

and her wicked stepfather.

You shouldn't do it. I don't know

why you let him do this to you.

Norma, not now.

But you gotta see what he is, Ma.

He's just taking advantage of you.

I know what he is. I could do worse.

- Listen...

- Honey, I haven't got time to listen.

Damn it. I'm out of lipstick.

Mama, who gives a damn

about your stupid lipstick, okay?

Stank ain't got a right

making you do all that.

Who says he makes me do anything?

What, you like it?

That's the art,

making them think you like it.

Mama, you're not a good enough actress

to make anybody think

you like stupid, fat Sheriff Keys.

- He don't have to make you do that.

- Well, it's all I know how to do, honey.

Look, would you just run over to China Girl

and get me some more lipstick?

Come here, honey. Come here.

Come to your mama.

Come sit down on your mommy.

I wish I knew who your daddy was.

Your eyes are so beautiful.

- Shut up, Ma.

- You are. You're so beautiful.

And you're so smart, and I love you.

But I gotta do what I gotta do,

so that you don't have to.

So you have a choice out there.

- Not everybody's so lucky, honey.

- Norma, get your ass out here!

Sorry, Mama, I gotta go.

Marv's paying me to help him with the load.

Okay.

Norma!

I'm coming!

Don't get your panties in a wad!

You looking fine today, Norma.

Roach! Quit jerking off!

Get your lazy ass down here

and help with this trailer!

F*** you, Marv. I got my good shirt on.

Man. You're breaking my goddamn lock!

What're you doing, brother?

- You worthless piece of sh*t.

- Get that f***ing thing out of my face.

You gonna get up in there

and help us unload this,

or you gonna stand around

and wait for your helmet to get polished?

Hey, man, let's get something straight,

all right?

We got a deal.

See, I drive the truck, and you rob me.

You wanna gnaw on a man's pecker

in the process? That sh*t's up to you.

Mack! Hey, you come now!

You come in for number-one massage!

Oh, I'm coming! You know that, rice cake.

Hey, little girl.

I don't pay you to stand around

and watch your tits grow.

Now get your ass up there.

Get some smokes over to China Girl.

Get the salad dressing to Stank

for the product meat. Let's go.

I'm on the clock here, f***ing people.

I do not have time! God damn it!

- Yes, sir, shithead.

- Hey, Marv, I forgot.

Don't even contemplate f***ing me

out of my percentage, you got that?

That's my jellyroll, big daddy.

China.

Number-two massage.

Hey, hey, hey! Easy on that product.

Sh*t! Oh, sh*t! F***!

You just look at one of these things

cross-eyed, they take you off at the knee.

What the hell is that?

Somebody's been getting in my pot fields.

Nobody touches my sh*t. Nobody.

Boom!

"Boom!"

Get that sh*t to Stank. God damn it.

- Mama said to tell you she's ready.

- Sheriff Keys here yet?

Yeah.

Y'all take these on over to Larlene's.

She done paid for them.

Hell, no!

- Take them now, you hear?

- No! She's nasty. She smells like a wet dog.

I ain't asking you to! I'm telling you to!

There is a difference.

Well, we was in a sh*t heap,

no doubt about that.

But me being a brave, young,

death-defying princess and all,

well, Marv and Stank,

they didn't put fear in me.

There wasn't much that could.

But then there was Larlene.

I smell meat.

Hello?

Give me my meat.

Come here.

I want to smell you.

Get back in here, you juicy little b*tch!

I can catch you if I want to!

Stupid b*tch.

Sh*t, man. Marv's on the move.

Stank's going to heaven.

Thank you for the lipstick,

Miss China.

- Hey, that's my truck!

- No, no, no. Lay down. Relax.

God damn it. Someone's stealing my truck!

It means some f***ing redneck's

going to die. Get the f***...

Do what job?

What am I gonna do? Stick it up my ass?

What's the matter with you?

I ain't sticking that up my ass!

I didn't ask you

to stick it up your ass.

I won't let you

stick it up my ass.

I ain't paying for lip now,

God damn it! I'm paying for p*ssy, by God.

Well, if you're paying

for p*ssy, then p*ssy's what you'll get.

I'll even give you some ass!

But Stank knows

I don't do that kind of sh*t!

What the f***'s going on?

What, did somebody come through the

trailer park here and brought morality in?

Put the camera down, Stank!

You gonna let her get by with this sh*t?

No, Sheriff, she's feisty.

- Put the camera down!

But she knows

what puts her food on the table.

What? Your f***ing pork rinds?

Your possum rinds?

- Yeah, I've been living off that!

- Come on, God damn it!

- Just let him do it and get it over with!

- Do what?

It'll just leave a few bruises.

You can cover them up with all that

f***ing makeup you wear anyway.

Let's get this job done.

- F*** you!

- Hey, watch the camera!

- F*** you! F*** you! F*** you!

- Hold the camera. I got her.

- Get your ass back here.

- There we go. Speed!

Quit f***ing around and stay still!

Hold you back. Get in. The close shot.

All right.

- F*** off! F*** you!

Mom?

Oh, sh*t.

God.

- Did I scare ya?

- Oh, sh*t!

That's a cool-ass story, lady.

- So, what happened after that?

She got the hell out of there, right?

Actually, no.

I had to finish the video

with Sheriff Keys myself.

Oh, that is so f***ed.

Completely f***ed.

- Yes!

Hey!

Well, I guess

it's like the old saying goes, you know.

Being beautiful, it's a blessing and a curse.

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