Synopsis: The funloving Kerbys, stockholders in the bank of which henpecked, stuffy Cosmo Topper is president, drive recklessly once too often and become ghosts. In limbo because they've never done either good or bad deeds, they decide to try a good one now: rehabilitating Topper. Lovely, flirtatious Marion takes a keen personal interest in the job. Will Topper survive the wrath of jealous ghost George? Will Mrs. Topper find that a scandalous husband isn't all bad?
Director(s): Norman Z. McLeod
Production: Hallmark Entertainment
Rotten Tomatoes:
97 min


dd Oh, the old oaken bucket

dd Bucket dd

dd The iron-bound bucket dd

d dd Oh, bucket dd dd

The moss-covered bucket d

George. George!

dd That hangs in the well dd

I think it was pretty mean of you to

drag us out and leave all our guests flat.

Oh, you didn't drag us out?

Well, I didn't invite them. dddd

You didn't even know them? Well,

they've only been there for three days.

George. George!

Wait a minute. I'll be back in a

minute, honey. What do you want?

What time is it?


I said, where we going? That

isn't what you said before.

dd Oh, we're going to Wall

Street to see Old Man Topper dd

dd dd Iron-bound Topper dd

dd That moss-covered Topper

dd That I promised to meet him at

his bank for the annual meeting dd

dd dd Of the board of directors

at 10:
30 in the morning dd

Too many words, honey.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Well, let's see. It's 10:00 now. Yep.

And it takes a half an

hour to drive in. Yep.

And the meeting's at 10:30

in the morning. Mm-hmm.

That leaves 12 hours for-

for a night of complete rest.



Mm-hmm. So this is how one

starts getting a night's rest?

My pet, resting is the sort of thing

you've gotta work up to gradually.

Oh, excuse me.

It's very dangerous to rest all

of a sudden. Come on, darling.

Mr. Kerby is here. Hurry.

Yes, sir.

Good evening, Mrs. Kerby. Hello, Joe.

We have a nice big size

table for you. Over there.

Hi, Mac.

Hello, George.

How are you, George?

Thank you, Harry. Good

evening, Mrs. Kerby.

Hello, George.


Come on. The music's swell. What?

I said, "The music's swell!" Can't

hear you, but that's good music.

That's what I said.

May I cut in?


Is this the way in?

Looks like it.

Well, how do we get out? Honey,

you slide in and they carry you out.

Oh, no.

Where I go, you go.

No, hey, wait for me.


Don't forget to write.

Gentle George.

Deceitful George.


dd Old Man Moon wake up now dd Quiet!

dd 'Cause I've fallen in love dd

dd Go spread the news

to all the stars dd

dd Above dd

dd Shine for my baby

while we're dancing dd

dd Tonight dd

dd And fill her tender eyes

with love dd

dd And dynamite dd


Yeah, and look at the time. Look at the

time. dd Old Man Moon puts stardust dd

dd In a bottle of wine dd

dd Just do your darnedest

to make sure dd

dd That she'll be mine dd

Please, Mr. Kerby.

dd And if it's possible to keep shining

till noon dd Bring your party home, please.

dd My sincerest thanks

to you, sir dd

dd Old Man Moon dd

Look, Mr. Kerby,

you are my best customer.

And I appreciate that.

Maybe you got no home.

Maybe you don't need sleep.

But me, I have a home...

and I need to have-a

some sleep!

All right, Tony.

Just one more chorus.

You're telling me the same

story for the last hour.

I get-a sick and tired of hearing

that song over and over again!

dd With love or dynamite dd

dd Old Man Moon keeps stardust

in a bottle of wine dd

dd Just do your darnedest

to make sure dd

d Yes, good night! dd

That she'll be mine d

Maybe the poor man's tired.

I don't know why he should be

tired. We did all the singing.

dd And if it's possible

to keep shining till noon dd

dd My sincerest thanks

to you, sir dd

dd Old Man Moon dd


dd Old Man Moon

Old Man Moon dddd

Good night, buddy!

So long. See you next time.

Come on. Enough of it.

dd Old Man Moon

Old Man Moon dd

dd Old Man Moon dd

dd Old Man Moon dd

dd Oh, Old Man Moon dd

dd My sincerest thanks to

you, sir dd dd Old Man Moon dd

Get in, honey.

You get in, darling.

dd Oh, Old Man Moon dd Ah, Jimmy.

Did we keep you waiting long?

Oh, that's all right. dd My

sincerest thanks to you, sir dd

dd Old Man Moon dd


dd dd Old Man Wilson Old Man Wilson dd

Old Man Wilson, that squares us up

for the whole week. Right, Mr. Kerby.


dd My sincerest thanks

to you, sir dd

dd Old Man Moon dddd

Hey, George, is this

30 in the morning?

No, this is Topper's bank.


Honey, do me a favor.


Shut my eyes.

I'll shut your mouth.

Good night, my pet.

Good night.

Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, hello. You going to

a costume ball?

What do you think this is, an

auto camp? Crosspatch, crosspatch.

Get out of here. You can't

sleep here. I'm not sleeping.

Talk to him about it.

He seems to be doing it all.

Oh, hush, Marion.

Who have you dug up now?

I didn't dig him up. He

dug us up. Make him go away.

I can't. It's a C-O-P.

C- O-P? Oh!

Tell him we don't want

any. Hey, hey, hey!

Flies. Get out of here.

Now you can't sleep here.

Uh, we're not sleeping. We're

waiting. Waitin' for what?

For-For- For the annual meeting of the

board of directors of that there bank.

Oh, darn.

There's nobody in there.

Maybe they're late.

"Maybe they're late. "

You see, you can't argue

with him. I can't, eh?

Now I wanna tell you something

- See what you can do with this instead.

Well, of all the- Oh!


It's three minutes

after 8:
00, sir.

Oh, all right, Wilkins.

Do you realize that most men don't get

chased out of the water like trained seals?

Most men can dawdle in their

shower. You are not most men, sir.

Why can't I be most men?

Because you are Mr. Topper, sir.

And Mrs. Topper insists.

It's four minutes past.

We dress now.

We dress now, yeah.

Good morning, Clara.

Good morning, dear.

You're late.

Oh, better late

than never.

Only 44 seconds anyhow.

Can't that fella wait until

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Jack Jevne

Jack Jevne (January 25, 1892 – May 25, 1972) was an American screenwriter. He also worked as an actor, and served as sergeant first class during World War I. He wrote for 58 films between 1919 and 1956, notably working with Laurel and Hardy on several occasions. He was born in Provo, Utah, son of Lloyd Jevne, a professional billiard player, and Anna Anderberg, a Swedish immigrant.During the Hollywood blacklist era, Jean Rouverol Butler, wife of blacklisted screenwriter Hugo Butler, wrote Autumn Leaves (1956) with her husband based on her novella. Jack Jevne fronted for her, that is, feigned authorship.Jevne died in Los Angeles, California. more…

All Jack Jevne scripts | Jack Jevne Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "Topper" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Apr. 2024. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.