Top Five Page #4

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Can I see your phone?

Did you have a baby when you were 10?

Don't take his phone. Mom?

Okay, what are you doing with my phone?

Playing Angry Birds.

But I don't have Angry Birds.

You do now.

Grace? Go finish your work, mamita.

And give the man back his phone.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I'm Gladys, Chelsea's mother.

Are you ready for the big day?

The wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're so lucky you found someone.

I hear that being

a cougar is a big thing,

but I can't find anybody

that wants to be couged.

So, I read this stuff

to try to better understand men.

Listen to this.

"Men love it when you gently..."

What are you talking about?

- "...lick their..."

- Okay, no more Cosmo.

Wait a minute.

I thought you wrote this one.

Wait, wait, get out of here.

So you are a real journalist.

I'm sorry,

I didn't know it was a secret.

Shakira Simmons?

What's that? Your stripper name?

Shakara Simmons.

I don't use my real name

for the fluffy stuff.

Okay, I found my Flip,

and we can go now.

So what's up

with all this Cinderella stuff?

Those are my daughter's.

A little girl's reading

The Cinderella Effect.

- Okay, that one's mine.

- Okay.

Don't you think it's kinda odd that

a grown woman is still into Cinderella?

Don't you think that it's kinda odd that

a grown man is still into the Yankees?

Yes, but the Yankees are a real team.

- A-Rod is real?

- Okay, you got me on that one.

And for your information, my daughter

is working on a school project.

You know, where they have to

rewrite a classical story

and she's doing one

on the real Cinderella.

According to my child,

Cinderella was born a nanny

in the Bronx in 1995, okay?

Her mama was a nanny and her secret

father was the mean white landlord,

who had three daughters.

Cinderella had to do all the things

that a nanny has to do,

she had to cook and clean,

and do everything for her sisters.

And then one day, Prince came into town

and was doing a concert

that everyone wanted to attend.

But the landlord forbid her to go,

so she waited until her sisters left,

and then snuck into the concert

and was the prettiest girl there.

Prince didn't want to hang

with anyone else,

and then she noticed

that her sisters were leaving

and she knew she had to go.

But she also knew

that she wanted to see Prince again.

So, she did what girls do

when they want to see a guy again.

Hand job?

She left something.

Only two days

until the Wedding Spectacular.

The jury's still out

on which shoes Erica will wear.

So were you the class clown growing up?

Class clown?

Is that why we went back

to get this recorder,

so you can ask me

if I was the class clown?

Look, I am really sorry

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