Toad Road
I met a guy once,
who told me about a place
that contained the seven gates
that lead to Hell.
I thought that it was the
most beautiful thing
I had ever heard.
What's up, man? You all right?
Cold as sh*t outside.
You out here camping?
Look like sh*t.
Look man, if you
ain't gonna talk,
I'll just let you out here.
I'm trying to be nice.
You got any friends
around here or anything?
Get off of me!
He is f***ing foul.
- Get up.
- Who the f*** just said that?!
Me.
I'm gettin' out.
- Let me lay down for a sec.
- F*** you.
Hold on! Take my cigarette!
That was James' head.
James, wake up.
I got him.
- I've got to go pee.
- The bathroom is that way!
Killing me!
Oh my god!
A**hole!
Beat him up when he's upstairs!
Oh my god, Nicole
is beating James!
James, I should help you!
Let me stand up! This
bathroom is repulsive!
No, it's OK. The bathroom
downstairs is repulsive.
This one is too.
No!
All right.
You're good.
Oh God!
Oh god!
Ow, my nose!
Please pull your pants up.
All right, all right,
all right. C'mon.
Ride 'em like a surf board!
James.
I have heard something
about you obviously,
over the years.
Yep.
I know you're not thrilled
about being here,
but I'm sure there's a reason
why you're coming to see me.
Uh, my father will continue
to pay my rent as long as I
come and talk to you for
however long we have to do this,
and that's what
I'm going to do.
I want to try to
figure out exactly
what your conception of
a normal relationship is.
Um...
- Be gentle. Be gentle.
- Oh!
- Oh my god.
- Oh your burnt him!
- Sh*t.
- Oh my god.
See that's one of the problems
that Bob has brought up to me.
He feels that in some
cases your friends,
or the relationships that you
key in to your friends,
um, I guess to put it in
a different way,
are not reaching the heights
he'd like you to reach.
I know how he feels
about my friends.
Is it music that aligns you
with these people?
Is that a common bond?
I'm wondering if music is a key;
An alliance here that builds up?
It's a symptom, rather
than, y'know, the cause.
It's a downward slope too.
It's a gradual progression.
and meeting these people.
And then it grows from there.
Their circle of friends becomes
your circle of friends.
the wild world we go.
You f***ing dick!
What's up? What are y'all doing?
This f***ing guy - ridiculous.
You take the scissors out.
I'll tell you when.
That looks all right.
Dirty ass.
Just grab the tweezers.
That's gross. I'm not
doing that to you.
Sure you don't want any?
No thanks.
All right.
Hold up. Gay chicken.
We're playing gay chicken!
Gay chicken! Gay chicken!
James! Gay chicken!
Watch out! Watch out!
I f***in' win!
I win, you f***in'...
You won't do it.
Gay chicken! You have to!
Gay chicken that b*tch!
I'm callin' it right now!
You guys won't do it!
I can't do it, dude.
- You all right?
- Yeah.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
What's up?
You guys get them shrooms?
Want some?
Why not?
C'mon. Grow some balls.
Hey, I'm not playing babysitter
while ya'll are trippin'.
So are they all
eating mushrooms?
Yeah.
I guess it's really nice out.
It's a good day for it, right?
Yeah, they're gonna
have a blast.
- You want to do 'em?
- I want to do 'em.
You are f***in'...
Not havin' that...
Watch this.
What are you doing?
Table toppin'.
I forgot how to do it.
Ow! Ow!
This is called a cradle.
Ow!
I know that one hurt.
I'll help you up
whenever you're ready.
Na, I don't need your help.
F***! Ow!
Dammit.
Hey, can you do this?
Who's the boyfriend now?
You gotta stir it.
There you go.
Our jumbalaya's not
gonna turn our so good.
See, like I'm dropping sh*t
left and right.
The worst experience I
ever had was, um...
that night that we
all ate acid...
The acid was great when
we went to that show
at Barclay House like...
It went off without a hitch.
Then we got back
and me and Scott,
like everybody were
up in his room,
and rippin' those
three foot bongs.
Like everything I saw
around me was manufactured
by like some greater,
like evil malicious like thing.
Like I thought that I was
like stuck in this like...
Like some how in a past life I
had done some wrong or
something so my entire life
up until that point was like...
Always like my parents were
at war with my friends...
See that's the thing. I
don't have the experiences
I've never done like,
drugs like that.
I mean, I'd like to.
You become accustom
to the f***ing
culture itself and you surround
yourself with drug people
then by the time you
realize like where you are,
waking up in places
you've never been before,
like it's beyond the point
of no return. You know,
it's like you cannot... Where
do you go? It's all you know.
It's like, it's like f***ing...
It's like a walk down Toad
Road for Christ's sake.
Like, you're there. You're
f***ed already.
What's Toad Road?
Oh yeah! You're a city girl.
You don't know about Toad Road.
All right. Well, um...
Toad Road is uh, like the local
high school local legend.
It's only in York.
Like, it's this, uh this
road that used to be behind
this mental ward or mental
institution or something,
and uh, you walk down this road
and like you go through
this first gate.
Like right at the
front of this like
big woods, wilderness. It's
just a little, tiny trail.
And then as you go, you
see like your second gate
and your third gate, and
you keep going through
and like things keep getting
more and more f***ed up.
Like you start, like...
It's like a bad trip.
Which I know doesn't
mean anything to you,
because, but maybe it will,
if you had it your way.
You go through you first
gate then your second gate
and like you start hearing
things and seeing things
and like people
are following you.
Things that just aren't there
and time changes and...
Well have you ever been there?
Na, of course not.
Because it's a f***ing... It's
like the, the man in the mirror.
The f***ing Bloody Mary sh*t.
It'd still be fun to go.
Like will you go with me?
No! It's the opposite of fun.
It's getting drunk and going
down a trail at night,
with a bunch of people who don't
know where they're going...
What if you're tripping?
Then it would be
even f***ing worse.
You would never
even make it home.
You'd get lost in the
middle of the woods.
If you really want to, this
weekend, me and like you know,
the gang are going to that
cave up off of like,
in uh, where ever, it's that
little like, landmark cave
and we're going to do
mushrooms in there.
And that'll be scary and spooky.
It'd be better than
Toad Road, though.
And I can eat some mushrooms?
Yeah. I'm not gonna
give you permission.
I don't need your permission,
but if I'm going to
be with you...
Whoah! Wow!
Look at you.
I already made up my mind. -Clearly.
Oh well, that's fine. That's fine.
Do what you gotta
do. I'll be there.
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"Toad Road" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 11 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/toad_road_21996>.
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