To Die For Page #4

- That's fabulous.

- Thanks.

I'm just one of

the chorus now, but--

Actually, I do skate

this one medley.

It's kind of a, you know, salute

to great TV shows.

I skate the Peggy Lipton part

in the Mod Squad number.

Peggy Lipton?

Yeah.

I get to wear a blonde wig.

How exciting.

They're talking about like

maybe a TV special this year or so--

Listen. Hang on, everybody.

Because, well, we've got...

a pretty important announcement

ourselves to make...

and I think congratulations

are in order.

Oh, honey.

Wait, wait, wait!

Cut, cut, cut!

It's not that.

- You're not--

- No, I'm not pregnant, for God's sake.

- Suzy's got a job.

- What?

Over at WWEN, the TV station.

The first woman they ever hired.

Isn't that right?

That's right.

Yep, our Suze is on her way now...

and nothing is gonna stop her.

Oh, honey, I'm proud of you.

That's great.

We're proud of you.

That's great.

- How are the newlyweds?

- They're doing great.

- Thanks, Sal.

- Yeah, cute kids.

- Aren't they just?

- Yeah.

- Did you like the barquettes?

- The what?

With the leek chiffonade.

Was it okay?

We never did 'em before...

but she showed us this recipe

in a book, so--

No problem.

I never told anyone...

even Joe.

So she couldn't cook.

There are worse crimes...

as we all know.

You're not anybody in America

unless you're on TV.

On TV is where we learn

about who we really are...

because what's the point

of doing anything worthwhile...

if nobody's watching?

And if people are watching,

it makes you a better person.

Marry me.

Mary, say yes.

I thought she was like

a goddess of some kind.

Like Lady Di

before she dumped the prince...

and went nudist and everything.

Suzanne bought me this dress,

which I hope to fit someday.

Suzanne Maretto was

a beautiful human being...

with real dreams and aspirations.

Suzanne used to say

'Opportunity is always knocking...

but if you aren't listening,

its knuckles get sore...

and it moves to another house.'

Something like that.

She said that even on her honeymoon

she had Larry take her...

to this hotel in Florida

where there was going to be...

this kind of convention

of all these big-shot TV people...

that she'd read about

in a magazine.

Which, of course,

she didn't tell Larry...

because she didn't want

to maybe hurt his feelings about...

her attending to her career

while they were bonding sexually...

so to speak.

So the German reporter

says to the Hungarian editor...

'Of course she's always smiling.

She gets 'faxed'

at least ten times a day.'

Boom.

Thank you.

I know that's a silly joke...

but it does illustrate

our central thesis today...

which is 'Here and Now in the...

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote