Time Bandits

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Yes, folks, Moderna Designs...

present the latestin kitchen luxury.

The Moderna Wonder Major All-AutomaticConvenience Center-ette...

gives you all the time in the worldto do the things you really want to do.

An infraredfreezer/oven complex...

that can make you a mealfrom packet to plate...

in 15 and a half seconds.

The Morrisons have got one thatcan do that in eight seconds.

Block of ice to beef bourguignonin eight seconds.

Lucky things.

Dad, did you know thatthe ancient Greek warriors...

had to learn 44 differentways of unarmed combat ?

Well, at least we've gota two-speed hedge cutter.

They were trying to kill people 26different ways with their bare hands.

- Bedtime for you, Kevin. It's 9:00.

And this King Agamemnon,he once fought--

Go on, dear.Your father said.

- Oh, all right.- The man you all love, Kenny Lange.

Well, that's today's top prize.

Let's meet today's star gueston Your Money Or Your Life.

Bring them on, girls.Oh, don't they look gorgeous ?

Oh, they get lovelierevery day.

Turn that light off !

It is off.

What the hellis going on up here ?

I told you to put that light outand get to bed.

- But--- And no more noise !

It came off just like that.The whole thermostat.

That's the toaster, the spreaderand the slicer all gone.

- She's in a terrible state.- Should've bought German.

- Mom ?- It would've matched her rotissomat.

- Mom, Dad, can I--- You're going to bedin good time tonight.

- I was thinking of going to bed now.- Now ? Certainly not.

-You must wait for your food to go down.-I haven't eaten any food.

Well, you must eatyour food.

And then wait for itto go down.

Oh, no !Not the carvery again.

Oh, dear me, Beryl.Now, all I want to know...

is what famous film starbegins with "C" ?

Do you understandthe question, my darling ?

Come on, Beryl. Come on. Jumbo'sgonna end up in the souffle, Beryl.

You've got to answer it, Beryl.Come on. Come on, Beryl.

- It's gone down now.- Come on, Beryl. Come on.

- What ?- My supper. It's gone down.

I can feel it.Can I go to bed now ?

Yeah, all right.Off you go. But no noise.

- What ?- No noise !

All right. Okay.

No, Beryl. Capetown is not a film star.

Oh, dear. Oh, well.That's Your Money Or Your Life.

Well, it takes money.

With a kitchen like that ?

Our kitchen's all right, isn't it ?

Our kitchen is light-years behind.

- Where are we ?- I don't know.

- Well, look at the map.- It's not on the map.

- Is he coming after us ?- I think we gave him the slip.

It's him !Run for it !

- Which way ?- This way. Careful.

We can explain everything, sir.

It's not as bad as it looks.

We just borrowed the map.

Sort of got rather happyabout it, and, uh...

ran off in high spirits.

Yeah, we did.

Who are you ?

That's not him.

It didn't soundlike him, did it ?

It doesn't evenlook like him.

- It isn't him.- Let's get him !

Strutter, get his torch.Shine it right in the face.

His face, dummy !

It's a kid !

Og, Fidgit,check the door.

All clear.

Strutter, the light.

Just tell us how we get out of here,keep quiet and you won't get hurt.

Wh-Why don't you get outthe way you came ?

Don't try and be smartwith me, you little creep.

Yeah.

If you want to play it smart,I'll introduce you to Vermin.

He eats anything,you know.

I'm not trying to be smart.I'm just trying to help.

- You know, don't you ?- I don't know anything.

You know, and you'renot going to tell us.

- I'm getting angry,and Vermin's getting hungry.- I don't know !

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