Throw Momma from the Train Page #3

- Owen, my little baby.

- I know.

- Owen, my little baby boy.

(Owen) And even though

he was mortally wounded,...

.. the guy in the hat got up...

.. and pulled himself up and...

.. staggered out into the dark night...

.. like a milkman...

.. going out on his route.

(man) There he is, Owen.

- Professor Donner...

- Not now, Owen. Another time.

- Beth...

- Don't bother.

- I gotta talk to you.

- You're 16 hours late.

And I'm sorry. It's just that...

she was on the television.

Margaret was on TV

and my mind went nuts.

My mind went crazy. I saw

nothing but hate and death.

And I'm sorry, and I did call.

I called you around 10.30.

- Where were you?

- Did you think I'd stay in all night...

.. staring at my tandoori chicken?

I know you're angry

and... you have every right to be angry.

It's just that I...

- It's my class.

- Ah. How do you do?

(all) Hi.

- What's your name?

- Beth Ryan.

She teaches anthropology.

Beth... Ryan?

Don't even think about it.

(man) Hang in there, Pinsky.

Come on. I'm sorry. Do you know that

we are this far away from having a date?

We're just this far.

- (as Beth) Hello, you're late.

- I'm sorry.

- You probably made tandoori chicken.

- (as Beth) Come on in, Larry. Oh...

Come on, gimme a second chance.

What do you say? Come on!

- I can't believe I'm saying this. Yes.

- Yeah? Great!

Professor Donner,

I saw your wife on Oprah!

Ex-wife. Ex!

What's with him?

(sighs) I can't get over this.

- Why?

- Why? Why?!

She steals my book! OK?

- She goes on national television...

- I'm not gonna sit here and be barked at.

Wait. Listen to me, Beth. The problem is...

.. I can't write. I'm dead inside.

I have no passion.

You have passion. When you talk

about Margaret, you have passion.

Slut!

No, my ex-wife is a major slut.

- But you're not a slut.

- Thank you!

I'm talking about passion!

It's selfless, committed, overflowing!

Not hate and murder!

And slut! I hate her! I wish she was dead!

Chill out.

Thank you.

It's so beautiful!

It's very good, Phil. Very, very good.

Forty yards of Naugahyde, a girl

and a dream. What can I say? It's...

Well, I wrote it just like I lived it.

Which is what you've been

teaching us:
to write what we know.

It's very good. It'll blow the lid off

the upholstery business as we know it.

- Thank you.

- OK.

Next is Murder at my Friend Harry's

by Owen... Lift.

"Chapter 1. The night was humid. "

Class dismissed.

I have an enormous headache in my eye.

Yuck.

OWEN:

(sighs)

(car door closes)

(Larry) I'm so sorry about the cafeteria.

It was Norman Bates in concert.

It's just that I see her and I...

- You wanna kill her.

- Metaphorically, yes.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote