Three Kings Page #6

TROY:

You're making them all hysterical.

Vig points the big pistol at an OLDER IRAQI OFFICER who is

the only one not taking his clothes off.

VIG:

Take your f***ing rags off, take

this off. No comprende English,

motherf***er?

TROY:

What is your f***ing problem,

Conrad?

VIG:

I'm trying to git him to obey the

spirit of things but he won't take

his rags off.

TROY:

(leans down)

Sir? We need you to disrobe like

all the other towel heads, OK?

The Officer does not move, Troy punches his head once. Vig

and Walter forcibly pull the Iraqi Officer's pants off. Troy

takes out a bottle of aspirin, eats two.

VIG:

Whoa, it's a freaky thing, Troy.

Vig points to the Officer's bare buttocks, where a rolled up

piece of paper is sticking out --

TROY:

There's a document in that guy's

ass, Conrad.

VIG:

That's the freaky thing.

WALTER:

Do you think he ate it?

TROY:

It wouldn't come out perfect like

that if he ate it.

Troy pulls out a latex glove out of his pocket.

TROY:

Go get it, Private.

IRAQI OFFICER:

Hasa man timal!

The Officer screams in protest and is forcibly subdued by

Walter as Vig, wearing the glove, slowly pulls the rolled up,

greasy paper from the Officer's ass -- Troy looks disgusted.

TROY:

Open it up.

VIG:

You only gave me one glove.

TROY:

I'm sorry I don't have another,

but you gotta open it up. That's

how the chain of command works.

Vig takes out a U.S. Army pen and uses it to unroll the

greasy paper and lie it flat on the sand.

CLOSE UP - THE RUMPLED PAPER

is a handwritten map, with scant Arabic writing, a few spare

roads, numbers, and three small boxes.

VIG:

What the hell is that?

TROY:

Important enough to squeeze your

cheeks for.

INT. TELEVISION TRUCK - DAY

In the half-light of dozens of TV monitors playing Iraqi news

from around the world, Archie Gates madly humps CATHY DAITCH

on a lawn chair which is slamming into the monitors.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes