This Means War

Synopsis: Two CIA agents, Tuck and Frank who are also best friends, have been benched because someone's after them. Tuck is divorced with a son whom he's not close to and Frank is a ladies man. Tuck decides to try and find someone so he places his profile on a dating website. Lauren, a woman also looking for a guy sees Tuck's profile and goes with him. She later bumps into Frank and he hits on her and she goes out with him. She's intrigued by both of them. When they learn that they're dating the same girl, they agree to let her choose. But both can't help but use their skills to keep tabs on her and each other. And also sabotage each other's dates with her.
Director(s): McG
Production: Twentieth Century Fox
  1 win & 6 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
103 min

- All eyes are up.

- Sat cams are good.

Target is inbound.

ETA five minutes.

Mission is a go.

Repeat, you are green to go.

Intercept and apprehend

the Heinrich brothers.

Secure the device.

And remember, this mission is covert.

I've got some action.

Hi, my name is Xenia.

- Pleased to meet you. I'm Tuck.


So what brings you to Hong Kong?

- Business or pleasure?

- Pleasure.

- Business.

- A little of both.

What kind of business?

I am a cruise ship captain

of a very large vessel.

My small friend here

is a kick-ass travel agent.

Permission to come aboard, captain?

On that note, will you excuse us, ladies,

because we do have work to do.

- No, we don't.

- Yes, we do.

Yes, we do.

That's a lovely suit.

Well, it is Savile Row's finest.

I see you brought your baby brother

to protect you.

What did you say?

Let's go, Jonas.

Shots fired. Men down.

All right. Here we go.

Mag. I need a mag.

Shoot him.



- Heinrich is not gonna be happy.

- I'm more concerned about the boss.

Definitely. Hey, you think

those girls are still here?

Here we go.

So the Coretex has minimal damage.

There's some calcining

around the edges.

However, the Tempolite has damage

and there's rusting around 300 degrees.

So that means

the Coretex gets the recommend.

See, Em? The best product always wins.

- Oh, Lauren.

- Yes.

I was just wondering if I might skip out

a little bit early for the holiday weekend.

Jerry's taking me to an alpaca farm.

Oh, yeah, of course.

It's a holiday. And a weekend.

Yeah, so you should do that.

- Okay.

- Have fun.

- You have fun too.

- I will.

Tuck. FDR.

Six men in the morgue.

A body in the middle of the street.

Yes, but to be fair, we did manage to...

- Shut up.

- To... That's me shutting up, right now.

The mission parameters

of the Heinrich case...

...were clearly indicated to be covert.

Thanks to you two geniuses...

...Heinrich will be seeking revenge

for his brother's death.

You guys are grounded.

- What?

- Grounded?

And just maybe.

I'm gonna make it.

I'm gonna shake it.

- Hey, Lauren. Lauren. Hey, hey.

- Oh, oh!

Hi, Steve, hey.

- Hey.

- It's Steve.

Yeah. Oh, my... I'm so sorry.

Uh, Lauren, this is Kelly.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- It's very nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too, yeah.

- Wow, ha, ha, what a big rock.

- Yeah.

My fiance, yes. Yeah.

- You are engaged?

- Yeah.

To be married.

Things just worked out exactly

how they're supposed to, didn't they?

Yeah. Yeah.


Looks cool.

Okay, well, you know what?

I'm gonna go

because I'm gonna go meet my guy, Ken.


- Uh, he's a surgeon.

- Wow.

- So, great, well..., congratulations on your ring and...

- Oh, thanks.

- ...and your life...

- ...and your bikes and everything.

- Yeah.

Okay. Well, peace.

- See you.

- Okay. Bye.

I just said "peace."

I want to die right now.

Sushi for one.

Hey, Ken.

- The usual?

- Yeah.

- Long day, huh?

- You don't know the half of it.

This is too funny.


I'm sorry. This must be

your boyfriend's seat. Uh, Ken, right?

- Oh, yeah.

- No.

Sushi for one. Yeah. Always for one.

Ugh! It was the most

humiliating moment ever.

Well, because you have to come up

with, like, better excuses.

You should've been, "I have a fianc too.

But he's getting a penile reduction..."

...because his penis is so big

every time it lands like a poltergeist."

Can't think of anything when I see him.

I just can't believe

I gave up everything for him.

It's just, I felt so stupid.

I left my friends, my family...

Don't say that, I'm happy you moved here.

Rate this script:(4.50 / 2 votes)

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "This Means War" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 18 Apr. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    This Means War

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.

    Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.