They Came Together

Synopsis: A small business owner is about to lose her shop to a major corporate development.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): David Wain
Production: Lionsgate
Rotten Tomatoes:
83 min

So we have aisle seats, we have

a couple of drinks, and

we get to the airport.

Neither of us speaks a word

of Italian, by the way.

So this guy thinks he'll be able to

- find his luggage if he speaks Pig Latin.

- Ah.

Yeah, that's right.

I said "Looking for bags."

But it came out "Ook-in-lay

or-fay ags-bay."

That is too funny.

- I said "That's it. I'm never

leaving the country again." - Ugh!

Joel can't even leave the

Upper West Side of Manhattan.

That's true. For me,

the perfect vacation

is getting a cheese danish from Zabar's

and curling up with the Sunday Times.

So do you still read The Times?

Oh, boy. Kyle thinks The

Times has gone downhill.

Now, I beg to differ.

It's nothing but a

worthless yellow rag.

We've been having this fight

since the day we met.

- Well, it probably seems that way.

- Hmm.

No, we literally met when

we were both on a panel

at the Guggenheim debating the

merits of the New York Times.

And I said, "Who is

this know-it-all girl?"

And I thought, "Who

is this pompous guy?"

Anyway, our heated discussion

continued over a bottle of merlot.

Let's just say the discussing part

stopped, but the heated part continued.


For better or worse, we've

been together ever since.

Probably worse, right?

Oh, definitely for

worse. It's awful.

So, Joel, Molly,

how'd you two meet?

- Oh, boy. That's a long story.

- Yeah.

Oh, we've got time.

Waiter! More wine.

Well, it's kind of a corny,

romantic comedy kind of story.

- That's true. That is true.

- Really? How so?

Well, Joel is kind of a typical

romantic comedy leading man.

He's handsome, but in a

non-threatening way.

- Yeah, I can see that.

- Vaguely but not overtly Jewish.

- You're right. He's just Jewish enough.

- And Molly is the kind of cute, klutzy

girl that sometimes will

drive you a little crazy,

but you can't help but

fall in love with her.


- Okay. So we have our main characters.

- Not quite.

There is another character that was

just as important as the two of us.

- Mmm.

- New York City.

Ah! Mmm.

So New York City is

like another character?


So if there was a movie

about your relationship,

it would probably start with aerial

shots of the Manhattan skyline.


I was living in a loft on

Broadway and 86th Street,

and I had a girlfriend at the time,

Tiffany. She worked in the fashion industry.

Very put together. Never

had a hair out of place.

But there was something

cold about her.

Hey, you.


I love you.

Mmm, and I admire your spirit.


And I was just getting

over a break-up,

so the closest thing I had to a

boyfriend was my dog, Charlie.

Hey, handsome!

I wasn't all put

together like Tiffany.

In fact, as Joel said

earlier, I was a real klutz.

Klutz is the understatement

of the century.

Oh, no!

Oh, no!



See, New York is such an

important part of our lives,

it's almost like another

character in our story.

Right. You said that.

I really didn't feel like I

needed a love life, you know?

In fact, New York City was

almost like a boyfriend to me.

Oh, right.

- That is so good.

- Very good.

That's very good. That's very cool.

Most importantly, I had my little

candy shop, Upper Sweet Side.

I was living my dream, of

owning a shop that was

charming and adorable, and

impossible not to like.

You guys have not lived until you've

tried my Creamy Caramel Clusters.

They're better than sex!

When you've been married

as long as we have,

taking a stinky sh*t is

better than having sex.

Only in New York, right?

Anyway, I was in no rush

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Michael Showalter

Michael Showalter (born June 17, 1970) is an American comedian, actor, director, writer and producer. He is a member of the sketch comedy trio Stella. Showalter first came to recognition as a cast member on MTV's The State, which aired from 1993 to 1995. He and David Wain created the Wet Hot American Summer franchise, with Showalter co-writing and starring in Wet Hot American Summer (2001), and the Netflix series. Showalter wrote and directed The Baxter (2005), in which he starred with Michelle Williams, Justin Theroux and Elizabeth Banks. Both of the films featured many of his co-stars from The State, and so do several of his other projects. Showalter is also a co-creator, co-producer, actor, and writer for the TV series Search Party. more…

All Michael Showalter scripts | Michael Showalter Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:



    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)


    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:


    "They Came Together" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 26 Oct. 2021. <>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    They Came Together

    The Marketplace:

    Sell your Script !

    Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.