The Women Page #3

It's just a mess now.

Who knows if it's gonna come out?

- It's a brand-new Lexus.

- It's gonna come out, it's from nature.

Just calm down.

She splattered breast milk

all over the dashboard.

- Do you have a rag?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, here.

Maggie, Maggie, can you please put this

in the refrigerator for me?

I'll put it right next to the 2-percent.

Okay, thank you.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe you're here.

You know what? I don't know

that I've ever seen you in the daylight.

You haven't.

Hello, I'm Edie Cohen.

Natasha.

- Natasha?

- Just Natasha.

Oh.

Well, very nice to meet you,

just Natasha.

Natasha's a supermodel.

I hate that word. Do not call me that.

It objectifies me.

I'm a person, not an accessory.

Okay, fine. You're not a purse.

I'm gonna go and get something to drink.

Don't talk about me.

She just finished anger management.

Well, what does she have

to be angry about?

- She's hungry.

- Oh.

When are you just gonna settle down

with someone who's right for you?

Like a man? Please.

You know that I accept you

as my gay friend.

Thank you.

But all of a sudden, half the world is gay.

Explain that.

You just don't understand

how much better it is...

...being in a relationship with a woman.

If we're lost, we both ask for directions.

When we watch TV,

we watch one show at a time.

Nobody drinks out of the milk carton

or asks you to pull their finger...

...or obsesses over their decreasing ability

to piss 30 feet.

- And when we have sex...

- Oh, no, my...

- neither one of us wants it

with the lights on.

Are you jealous yet?

Hey, you owe me a hundred bucks

to have my car detailed, okay?

And tell me, Dorothy Parker...

...how much longer am I gonna have to wait

for your second book, huh?

I'd like to print an excerpt

before I'm dead.

You see, you don't just dash off a book

full of sharply observed, hilarious...

...yet deeply intelligent essays,

to quote The New York Times.

Yeah, that was six years ago.

Let's get on with it, huh?

She's a little distracted.

Did you see her date?

Hm.

So is Mary in here?

It's just so generous of you to open

your gorgeous home for Central Park.

Your mother was chair

of the women's committee for many years.

Yes, and it's very important to her

that I carry on the tradition.

- And me, of course.

- Well, of course.

I don't know

how you manage things in your life...

...and still make time

for your charitable work.

- Oh, well, pharmaceuticals.

- Oh, heh, heh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

There's a champagne buffet

out on the lawn.

Barbara, please help yourself.

- Oh, amazing, you're here on time.

- Hey, what do you mean?

I'm always on time.

You're the one who's late.

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