The Wicker Tree

1

( distant choir singing )

Man on radio:

It's 8:
00 a.m. and a glorious 74

here in downtown Dallas.

Let's kick things off with the our own

hometown sweetheart Beth Boothby.

Beth:

J' I know where I'm going J'

J' I know who goes with me J'

J' I know who I love J'

J' My dear knows who I'll marry J'

J' I have stockings of silk J'

J' Shoes of bright green leather J'

J' Combs to buckle my hair J'

J' And a ring for every finger J'

J' Featherbeds are soft J'

J' Painted rooms are bonny J'

J' But I would give them all J'

J' For my handsome J'

J' Winsome Johnny J'

J' Some say he is poor J'

J' I say he is bonny... J'

I'm so glad

you're going with me.

I couldn't let you loose among

all them heathens, honey,

not on your lonesome.

J' Handsome, winsome Johnny J'

J' I know where I'm going. J'

Hi, Beth. Autograph?

J' He hath filled the hungry

with good things J'

J' And the rich he hath sent

empty away J'

J' He hath helped

His servant Israel J'

J' In remembrance

of his mercy J'

J' Spoke to our fathers,

to Abraham J'

J' And to his seed J'

J' Forever. J'

( cheering )

We are gathered here today

to say Godspeed

to Beth and Steve--

two of our young redeemers

who are going to give two years

of their young lives to God

and to bringing

His message

to the lost people

of Scotland.

( cheering )

Seemingly,

there are people there

that have forgotten the Lord.

Many, I hear, don't even

believe in angels.

- ( crowd murmuring)

- Don't even believe

in angels, folks.

Beth, I want you to know

that we are all

real proud of you.

But you are going out there

to do some service to God.

And, Steve,

you take real good care of this

lovely little lady, do you hear?

Yes, sir.

( applause )

May God bless you both

and bring you back safe,

successful and pure to us here.

And we will give you

the wedding of the year.

And that's a promise. Amen.

( crowd cheering )

( cawing )

( saw buzzing )

( muttering incoherently )

I'm up to my oysters

in shite!

( reporters clamoring )

Beth. Beth.

- You look gorgeous.

- Give them some space.

Over here, Beth.

Over here.

Photographer:

Just one more, Beth.

Thank you, darling.

Delia, welcome indeed.

As you can see, your young guests

are already here.

This is Beth Boothby.

She and her friend

are looking forward

to preaching door to door.

God bless them.

Beth, this is

Sir Lachlan Morrison--

Pleasure.

--the patron for our concert

here today.

We're just so grateful

to you, sir,

andlady?

Oh, call us

Lachlan and Delia.

We don't stand

on ceremony here.

And who is this?

I guess you could call Steve

my fianc.

Nice to meet you, sir, ma'am.

See our silver rings?

- Oh, the same rings?

- How charming.

To show

that you're engaged?

As a sign

of our chastity, ma'am.

Photographer:

Beautiful. Thank you.

Well, I guess it don't appeal

too much to some young folks here,

but thanks to your invite,

me and Beth--

we've come over here

to try and change that.

- Right, baby?

- Yeah.

Beth, I think

they're ready for you.

Excuse me.

Fans:

Beth, Beth.

( tuning instruments )

Great.

- Thank you. Bye.

- Come on, out. Out.

They're both perfect.

I was afraid we'd have to look

further afield this year.

What a little star,

especially if she can sing.

And rather beautiful, too.

In a corn-fed, apple-cheeks

sort of way.

A perfect mate

for a cowboy, then.

Absolutely.

I bet she smells

of the dairy,

a musky bush, milky tits

and just a hint of warm

cow sh*t behind the ears.

So you approve of her, then?

Oh, and that poor Steve,

wearing that ridiculous

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