The Wedding Planner

You may now kiss the bride.

From now on,|he'll take care of you...

and you'll take care of him.

He'll make you|big baloney sandwiches...

and you'll buy him new socks|and a white briefcase.

And you'll live happily ever after.

You're the luckiest girl|in the world, Barbie.

The luckiest girl in the world.

You are the luckiest girl|in the world.

When I did Whitney Houston's wedding,|she was even more nervous than you.

And you look ten times better|than she did.

No, I don't.

This isn't gonna work.

I'm fat!

And I'm gonna marry|the wrong guy.

Look at me.

You are exquisite.

You're timeless.

You're the envy of your|future sister-in-law Janice...

whom I overheard say at the last|gown fitting, " Look at those thighs.

I'd kill for Tracy's thighs."

But you have more|than great thighs.

You have the love|of a man named Tom.

A man who, when he walked into|rehearsal dinner the other day...

said, "I can't believe|she picked me.

I can't believe I'm marrying the|most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

That tells me that this marriage|of yours is not only gonna work...

it's gonna last forever.

Thank you.

Oh, Mom, come here.

Excuse me.

Hey, what are you doing?

Thank you!

Keep to areas A, B and E. I don't want|any interference with the video team.

I know who you're looking for.|They're right downstairs.

- Father, where are you going?|- Nature calls.

You must call back later.|We're about to start.

Let's go. Inside.

Good morning.

Penny, stop flirting.|We're going in one.

Penny, go to M-12.|We have a dark Tower choking the AV.

Hi, ma'am. You're in|the preferred seating list.

- If you'll just follow me.|- Bye.

There we go.

Enjoy the wedding|from way back here.

Dark Tower demolished.

All right.|Places, everyone.

Todd, cut the fill lights.

Maestro, on three.

Excuse me, Mary. We can't find|the father of the bride.

That's okay. I got it.|Penny, send over the FOB.

I did, 15 minutes ago.

Cover me up north.|The FOB is MIA.

Oh, no, no, no.|Count to 100 and start again, okay?

Father, you're gonna|have to hold it.

Good.

Hey, guys, we're on.|Come on, put your jackets on.

I have a 20 on the FOB.

My little girl's|getting married today.

I remember her graduation|from nursery school...

when she was a little girl.

I remember...

like it was yesterday.

- Who are you?|- I'm the wedding planner.

Look, there's the wedding planner.

She must lead|such a romantic life.

" Earwax."

"X" on a double letter.|"A" on a triple word.

Seventy-two points.

No, I challenge you.|" Earwax" is two words.

- It's one.|- You're bluffing.

" Munch." Sixteen points.

Sixteen.

Maria, I know I'm a pain in the neck.|I just want you to be happy.

I'm gonna say something that you|may be a little resistant to...

but sometimes a father|has to take action.

What are you talking about?

I found you a man|who has agreed to marry you.

Oh, my God!

If her mother was alive...

and she heard that,|she'd wish she was dead.

"Shaft." Twenty-two points.

Anyway, you know him.|Remember Massimo?

No. Who?

Massimo Lenzetta, the little boy you|played with the summer we were in Italy?

- The kid who ate mud?|- That's the one!

I bumped into him on New Arrivals Night|at the Sicilian Association.

Why, this is the most|wonderful day of my life!

A man of my very own!

- You must bring me to him at once.|- No need.

- He's here?|- Yeah.

- He's here? He's here?|- Massimo.

- No, he didn't.|- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

You remember Massimo?

That mud did him good.

The last time I see you,|you were scrawny and ugly...

and your head was too big|for your body.

How nice. Thank you.

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