The Unraveling Page #2

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(Michael gasps)

Well, bet you're

probably wondering

what you're doing out in

the middle of nowhere,

just freezin' your ass off.

Yeah, where are we?

Would you rather be in Vegas

- gettin' a lap dance right now?

- No.

Yes, please, I would.

(men chuckling)

Yeah, that was a pretty

epic bachelor party.

Except you weren't there.

And now, we are broke,

so welcome to Plan B.

Yeah, well your Plan B

really f***ed things

up for me, man.

C'mon, you hate that job.

I'm talkin' about Jess.

What?

(owl hooting)

(scoffs) Dude,

she's on board, man.

What are you talkin' about?

(Alan chuckles)

Man, who do you think

packed your panties for you?

[Michael] Are you kidding me?

I think it's time for a toast.

Gentlemen, for our first

toast, we're gonna do it right.

This bottle was

not cheap, all right?

But these golden

drops have been aging

in oak barrels for

the past 45 years

just waiting for

the right moment...

All right, Shakespeare, I

think we get the idea here.

Let's just drink this sh*t!

Do you even know what

45-year scotch tastes like?

- Your mailman.

- All right, all right, all right, all right!

All right, all right,

to Michael and Jess.

[All] To Michael and Jess.

(crickets chirping)

(men groaning and gasping)

Is it supposed

to taste this bad?

(men chuckling)

(distant animal hooting

over chirping crickets)

(distant animal hooting

over fire crackling)

[Alan] Dude, how's the

wedding planning going?

It's good, but you

would not believe

how expensive this stuff is.

(liquid bubbling

over muffled chatter)

And we're having, like, 45

people at the wedding (scoffs).

[Alan] That's a lot of cake.

[Michael] You're telling me!

(distant animal hooting)

(fire crackling over

muffled chatter)

Would you pour me

another one, wouldja?

All right.

Aw, here he

goes, here he goes!

[John] Take it easy,

it's meant to be sipped!

Well, I sip quickly.

(scoffs) My God!

(men scoffing)

(men chuckling)

I'm done, man.

- [Alan] What?

- Are you serious?

- I'm done.

- Already?

Yeah, already.

Hey, do you know

your way back home?

And so we set the

record straight,

I never wanted it to

go down like this.

What are you talking about?

(Alan snickering)

[Louie] You know

what I'm talking about!

[John] Why's he

being so dramatic?

I'm not being dramatic,

I'm being honest!

[Shane] Come on,

Louie (chuckles)!

He's always been the

emotional drunk of the group.

He drank half my scotch

in, like, an hour and a half!

Dude, where you goin'?

Just take a leak.

Oh, we're not

done with you yet.

Come back for another drink.

You got it.

(footsteps crunching)

All right.

(crickets chirping)

(finger tapping on vial

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