The Truth About Lies Page #3

and n-now you're gonna dump me?

Right now? I mean, I...

Can I at least shower before

I begin my life on the street?

No. You can't take a shower here,

and you're not gonna be homeless.

Stop piling on like that.

It's bad for your confidence.

I'm con-I'm confident that you're insane!

Okay, you know what?

I have made my feelings very clear.

I am not gonna let you

give me some guilt trip.

Guilt trip? You're dumping

me after I've lost everything.

That's a fact trip.

Okay, this? Not gonna work.

You're gonna have to go.

You had to pick today

to become a sociopath?

Great, great.

He's here. Great.

You are my landlord's cousin,

and you came to the wrong apartment.

You want me to lie for you? You nuts?

You are nuts! Get out of my apartment!

- Hey, baby.

- Hi. You're early.

I just couldn't wait any longer to see you.

- Mmm.

- Come here.

Hi.

- Um...

- I'm sorry.

- I... This is...

- I, uh, didn't realize you, uh, had company.

I don't, actually.

Hi, I'm Gilby.

Calvin.

Calvin. Hi, Calvin. Did...

Sharon, did you not tell

your friend about me?

No, no, I don't think so.

Did you tell me about Gilby?

- No, why would I?

- Well, we're...

I'm Sharon's brother.

- Oh!

- Yeah.

- Great to meet you, man.

- Yeah, hey.

Why didn't you tell me you had a brother?

I-I don't know. It must

have slipped my mind.

Why didn't you tell

him about your twin bro?

Twins? Ha! Twins.

Yeah, you know, now that you mention it,

- you guys do look alike.

- You see it.

- I see it. Yeah.

- I don't think so.

- People say that!

- No one says that.

- It's kind of a thing.

- It's not a thing.

Do you guys, like, uh,

read each other's minds?

Sometimes.

Ooh!

- No.

- No, no.

But we are closer than you can imagine.

- Oh, I'm sure.

- You know what? That's completely true

because we share the same taste in men.

- So, you're, uh...

- Is, uh, is that right?

Gay as the day is long.

- Loves penis.

- Okay.

- Loves penis, this one.

- Okay.

Hey, what's with all the-the

boxes going around here?

Are you, uh, redecorating

your place or something?

Yes, yes, exactly.

You know, us gays just love to redecorate.

- Looks good.

- When we're not loving penis so much.

Which you do. Mm-hmm.

All the time.

Yeah, we're loving hanging new drapes.

- I know. I know.

- This guy is funny.

This guy, this-this guy,

you-you picked a real winner.

God, you guys are getting along so well.

I hate to break it up,

but Gilby is late for his date with a man.

- So, you should go.

- Oh, you know what?

I-I didn't tell you.

I changed those plans.

'Cause I was just feeling a little tired,

so I just wanna kick back and relax.

- I'm just gonna stay here.

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