The Thrill of It All Page #3

'and find true happiness in your bath?

'Just you and a cake of Happy.

Couldn't sell me a cake of that soap.

- That soap saved my life today.

- Who said that?

Put the darn lights on!

- Now, who said that?

- Well, I guess I did.

- Who are you?

- She's with me, sir.

Father, this is Dr Boyer and his wife.

Dr Boyer's my obstetrician.

Oh, yeah! Nice goin', Doc.

Now, young lady,

what the devil did you mean,

"That soap saved my life today"?

It was just a figure of speech, Mr Fraleigh.

How in tarnation can a soap save your life?

Maybe I put it too strongly

but if it weren't for Happy soap,

I'd still be in a hassle with my daughter.

- How's that?

- You really want to hear this?

Yeah. Go on!

Well, um, for years, I've been shampooing

my daughter Maggie's hair

- with a pine tar shampoo.

- Huh?

- With a pine tar shampoo.

- Oh.

- Today she refused to let me.

- Why?

She said the shampoo smelled like

the cracks in the school yard.

- Smelled like what?

- Shut up, shut up! Go on, go on!

Well, she just refused

to let me wash her hair.

Heaven knows she needed it, because

her brother Andrew hit her with a mud ball.

- Ha!

- Why, that little son of a gun.

Because she hit him with one first

right in the mouth.

Ha, ha! Mud ball, right in the mouth. Go on!

Oh, well, she, uh, uh, finally agreed

to let me wash her hair.

But only if I would use Happy soap.

So I did, and she just loved it.

She said that it made her

smell like her piano teacher.

Hear that?

Then her brother Andrew insisted

that I wash his hair with Happy soap.

That's what I'm talkin' about.

Mud balls in the mouth! Little kids

that like to smell like their piano teacher.

- Dad, you shouldn't be getting excited.

- Shouldn't be getting excited?

That's the damn trouble with

you young 'uns.

You never know when to get excited!

You should be shoutin' instead of me.

- I should?

- Darn right.

An advertising man.

Don't even know when to shout.

Father, please, we have guests.

If I don't set the sticks of dynamite,

no holes get dug.

Young lady, how would you like to go on

the TV and say what you just said to me?

Uh, what?

- On television.

- Why?

Why? Because I manufacture Happy soap

and I think you can sell it.

But, sir, we've worked so closely

with Spot Checker.

I know how closely you work.

I thought Spot inviting people to join her

in her bath was very effective.

Maybe they're bathing with her

but they aren't using Happy soap.

I like you. Have a nut.

What you said is

what I like to hear on the TV.

- Never did like them skinny starlings.

- "Lets", Dad.

- Let's what?

- Starlets, not starlings.

- Oh, shut up!

- Father, must you?

Yep. Only way to shut him up.

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