The Three Musketeers Page #5

there's none left. You've drunk the lot.

What sort of answer's that?

Well, go get some more, man!

Very good, sir. It's just, I can't, sir.

We've run out of money.

Planchet, what are you?

- Complete and utter waste of space, sir?

- And?

- As much use as a fart in a bottle, sir?

- Right.

In short, sir, a total tit, sir.

But I can't work bleeding miracles!

Planchet?

Oh!

Thank you very much, sir!

That's incredibly generous

from such a handsome, young man.

Thank you very, very much.

Will you be staying here tonight?

He'll be taking your bed, Planchet.

Right, and so I'll be sleeping...

You may take the balcony.

Outside? The balcony outside in the cold?

With birds shitting on my head all night?

Great, can I just say you...

Wine! Wine!

- Wine! Wine! Wine! Wine!

- Yes! Of course! Wine it is, sirs!

Check.

This is a ridiculous game.

Surely the King

should be the most powerful piece?

The King is the most important piece.

But he's vulnerable, he needs protection.

May I suggest you castle him?

Checkmate.

There. What do you think of that?

Your Majesty is a force of nature.

- Took you by surprise, eh?

- Yes, indeed, you did.

May we speak a little about foreign policy?

- It's not about Buckingham, is it?

- Oh, I'm afraid it is.

He's arriving in Paris tomorrow.

His master, King James, has agreed

to hear our peace proposal.

Good, good. Well, he knows better

than to mess with me, then.

There's also another matter.

A dangerous rivalry has sprung

between Your Majesty's Musketeers

and my personal guards.

Who was involved?

Athos, Porthos, Aramis.

The usual suspects.

And a young man called D'Artagnan.

I have summoned them to the palace so that

Your Majesty can punish them severely.

His Majesty, the King!

Well, well, well.

Brawling with the Cardinal's guards.

That's very bad.

What have you got to say for yourselves?

- We...

- Humbly beg your pardon, Your Majesty.

Yes.

Yes, I should hope so, too.

So, tell me, how many

were involved in the altercation?

There were four of us against 40 of them,

Your Majesty.

Four against 40?

And you beat them like a drum?

And, yes, you shall have to be reprimanded,

of course,

most harshly, I'm afraid.

- You do understand that, don't you?

- We do, Your Majesty.

Her Majesty, the Queen.

Anne.

What a... What a pleasant surprise!

My ladies and I wanted to see

the valiant Musketeers

who stood against the Cardinal's guards.

Four against 40?

Or was it 400?

Just 40, Your Majesty.

Lt was an off day.

That's my Musketeers for you.

By the time they write songs about them,

it'll be 4,000.

I hope you won't be too harsh with them.

After all, boys will be boys.

You must be D'Artagnan.

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