The Sum of Us Page #3

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- Some people haven't lived

with you for twenty odd years.

- Some people should be so bloody lucky.

- You should read a few

more books, you know.

- Mmm?

- There's a lot more to life

than what you see on telly.

Like this bloke, Sir Richard Burton.

One of the greatest

explorers that ever lived.

First white man to see

the sacred stone at Mecca.

And the first man to discover the lakes,

in Africa, that are

the source of the Nile.

A man-

- I thought he married Elizabeth Taylor.

- Who could take on the

world, and conquer it.

- Yeah, a couple of times.

- Not afraid of anything.

You should read it, you

might pick up a few hints.

- What for?

I do not want to go

chasing all over Africa,

looking for a place to have a swim.

Anyway, the whole world has

already been discovered.

- No, it hasn't.

- Which bit's are missing?

- There's amazing things waiting for

you just around the corner.

Wonderful things, like love.

The greatest adventure of all.

Your grandmother said it once.

I'll never forget it.

The greatest explorers, she said,

are the explorers of the human heart.

- Is that why she became a dyke?

- Your grandmother was not a dyke!

- She was licking Aunt

Mary's p*ssy for 40 years.

What else do you call it?

- I admit her relationship

with Mary was, intimate.

But she was not a dyke.

Lesbian, perhaps.

- Lezzo, dyke, what's the diff?

- What's the diff?

What's the diff?

There's a whole lot of flaming diff.

Your grandmother was a

very beautiful woman.

And just because she found happiness

after your grandfather had died,

just because, in her

grief, she turned to Mary,

and the of them found

comfort in each other's arms,

doesn't give you the

right to call her names.

How would you like it if

I went around calling you

pansy, fairy, poofter?

- You do, half the time.

- Only when I'm annoyed with you.

Now eat your veggies.

- No, I've had it.

I've done my dash.

- Now, you know...

You know how you get angry with me,

when I don't turn the

taps off in the shower?

- Look, I'm sorry.

- No, no, no, no, don't apologise.

Listen, listen.

Every time you finish a meal, you always

push your plate away from you.

Always.

Now, I've told you until I'm blue in

the face, but you always do it.

It doesn't matter where we are.

Here, out, Buckingham

Palace, for all you care.

You'd bloody do it there,

and it drives me mental!

- If that's how you feel.

- That's how I feel.

There's a Sara Lee in the fridge.

- Mmm-mmm, no thanks, mate.

Don't wanna go breaking out in zits.

Fact is, I'm running late as it is.

- Bit early, isn't it?

- Well, you know what they

say about the early bird.

- Yes, but I don't think

that's the sort of worm

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