The Squeaker

---

Hello!

This is Edgar Wallace speaking!

Hello? Hello. This is Larry Graeme.

Give me my brother, quick!

Hold on please, Larry.

- Yes, Larry, what's the matter?

You know what?

I found out who The Snake is.

Larry? What's wrong?

Larry? Hello?

Larry? Larry?

Read all about it! Snake bite murder!

"The Guardian"! Snake bite murder!

All the news.

Read "The Guardian".

Good morning, Mr Harras.

- Good morning.

Here you are, all the news,

the snake bite murder!

Read all about it! Read "The Guardian"!

Special report by Jos!

Special report... - Wouldn't dream

of reading a rubbish like that.

You're missing something, man.

"The Guardian"! Snake kills man.

Mr Fielding is already awaiting you!

Good morning, sweet thing.

- Mr Fielding is waiting.

I know.

Yes?

A wonderfully good morning, Sir.

Do you mind?

Mr Harras, what do you think

of this article about the snake?

It is distressing to me to see you read

that writing. Jos is a scandalmonger.

You could learn from that scandalmonger.

"The Guardian" shot down the price bird.

The evening edition is selling like

hot cakes. What do we have got to offer?

How about printing a composition of mine

on the theme that love life exists...

on the moon. A marvelous sensation!

- That no one would be interested in!

No, my dear Mr Harras. The mans love

life temporarily takes place on earth.

Whenever it happens.

- Very well, Sir.

And furthermore I might add

that my patience is wearing thin.

Just you pay me a fixed salary

or you increase my regular rates,

and I let you have articles, I guarantee

you, every bit is as good as Jos'.

Now, don't go up in the air, Sir.

Remember you answer. Do you mind?

You ought to take a bit of meat now and

then. You wouldn't be quite so nervous.

The finger prints correspond perfectly.

- And the photographs?

Identical, Sir!

That will do, thank you. Lights.

- Yes, Sir.

Larry Graeme, born June 10th, 1920 in

London. 5'6" tall, hair dark, eyes grey.

Speciality:
jewellery. Previous

convictions:
7. Prison sentence: 4 years,

released on Monday.

- I know that. Go ahead.

Imprisonment follows information received

from the Snake by Scotland Yard.

were due to the same source.

We can be very proud of that. Listen

to me carefully, I have got an idea.

Larry found out who The Snake is.

He was trying to get him, was caught,

bumped off. How does that sound?

- Sounds fine.

It has one great advantage. Before this,

The Snake had always left the messy work

to others. And when they asked for

a greater share of the lolly,

or if they got to big for their boots,

he rubbed them out.

In that case, it is the first time,

he has been forced to do his own work.

Yes, but don't forget, Lomm. Every

criminal makes at least one mistake.

Yes, what is it? Let's have it.

- The analysis is ready, Sir.

Go on, then.

- Go on.

It's a case of poisoning.

Very effective. Echidnotoxin, Sir.

Very, very good. All that I wanted.

That is the kind of snake.

Judging from the space between

the puncture, I'd say a mamba.

You know, some are green.

- Excuse me if I interrupt you.

This morning we had a call from the

Mulford Breeders. A black mamba vanished.

What?

- Yeah.

That's important. Make a phone call

and say that I'm coming.

By the way, the press waits outside.

- Say "No comment".

Hello Mr Elford.

Well, how did you get in here?

- Through the door.

Very funny. Are you looking for material

for another detective novel, Mistress?

Yes, I am. Do you think

you know who the killer is yet?

Can you keep mum?

- Cross my heart.

So can I. Goodbye.

- Very funny. I won't forget.

Pardon me, I wonder if you are...

- Ask the young lady. Goodbye.

Harras.

- From "The Telegraph"?

So, you know me? Then we are colleagues.

I have never seen you. A new girl?

I might well be.

- I was a beginner once too. No shame!

If I can give you any help,

please don't be afraid to tell me.

What actually

did the inspector tell you?

Can you keep mum?

- Like a sphinx.

So can I. Good day.

Weiber!

You're expected, Sir.

Please do go in.

Good day to you, Inspector. Sorry.

- Mr Mulford?

No, I am the manager. My name is Sutton.

Mr Mulford passed away.

Want you sit down, please?

Come Suzie, get out of here. Come on.

You have been here long enough.

I have to work. Do you want a drink?

No, thanks. Do you mind if I smoke?

- Not at all, please do.

A light. You wanted to see me

about the missing mamba?

Yes, Mr Sutton. We have some

solid grounds for assuming that a man

had come into contact with the mamba,

and the evidence indicates the bite...

of your mamba caused the man's death.

- I have read the story, Inspector.

But you must align to what I'm saying,

it is completely senseless.

Please explain, Mr Sutton.

- Some snakes can adapt to cold weather,

but this one needs warmth.

In the rawness of a climate common to us,

it wouldn't through a night.

- I see.

How long would a man live if we suppose

that a mamba sank its fangs...

right into his neck?

- That depends upon the physical...

constitution of the man. Not very long.

- Do you mind having a peep...

at the room where all your animals are?

- But of course, certainly.

Miss Trent, please come in.

Take the inspector down to Brownie.

He's our keeper and will show you around.

Excuse me. I have a lot to do.

- Certainly. You have been very kind.

Good day.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes