The Soloist Page #3

I only checked our graduates.

So I looked in our matriculates,

and there he was.

Nathaniel Anthony Ayers

enrolled in 1970

and he dropped out toward the end

of his second year.

Thank you.

"Points West" by Steve Lopez.

Nathaniel was shy in our first encounter.

He stepped back... He backed away.

He... Nathaniel is... Is what?

Nathaniel is...

A great column is what Nathaniel is.

Nathaniel is missing.

Son of a b*tch.

- Raccoons.

- Oh, yeah?

- That's the culprit.

- Oh, boy.

What are they doing?

They eat the grass?

No, they eat the worms in the grass.

They eat the worms in the grass?

Yeah, we had them.

It's a God-awful mess.

- Wanna know how I got rid of them?

- Yes.

Coyote urine.

- Wow. Coyote urine?

- Seriously. In powdered form.

- Remarkable.

- It's a whole industry, you know.

Funny.

- Hey, I'm Neil, by the way.

- Okay.

Anxiety, restlessness, euphoria.

If you're experiencing...

I would spend every night tossing

and turning...

Wow. Okay, and what is the proper

method of application?

Should I sprinkle it in the yard?

First, you wanna dilute

the urine powder in water.

- Wait, I want to?

- Well, maybe I should say "have to."

And then you're gonna have to hang

the liquid from trees in plastic bags.

So, people are doing this

all over Southern California?

Oh, yes, sir.

Last month, I sold some to Paula Abdul.

But no Simon Cowell?

'Cause that would be exciting. Figure?

I'm gonna call you back a little later.

Hey.

Hey, Nathaniel.

Remember me?

Sorry.

Maybe have a minute when you're done?

Let me know.

I just saw you, so I...

Nothing.

Mr. Steve Lopez, Los Angeles Times,

Los Angeles, California.

Hey, Nathaniel.

I've been searching for Mr. Beethoven,

but he's slipping away like a dream.

I'm trying to get back into shape,

but I don't have any sheet music.

Beethoven's String Quartet,

Opus 59, Number 1,

Violin Concerto, Opus 61 in D,

Fifth Concerto, Opus 73 in E Flat,

red car, green car,

there goes a police car, and God is right

on the other side of that wall.

I had to dig a hole

to bury some human defecation.

But they didn't have

the human decency...

I was looking for you.

... to use the proper facilities.

- I noticed that you've moved.

Well, it's beautiful here,

because you can play music

and have pigeons clapping

as they take off,

and right there

is The Los Angeles Times Building.

- Right, that's where I work.

- Mr. Steve Lopez, staff writer.

New York, Cleveland, it doesn't matter.

All I have to do is

look up at that building

and I know exactly where I am.

I was thinking about...

I'm in Los Angeles,

Los Angeles, California,

- Los Angeles Lakers.

...writing about you

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes