The Slumber Party Massacre Page #3

I left the burner on.

- Will your mom be mad?

- I'll have to replace it. It's okay.

At a recent Tinseltown bash, the lovely Brook

Shields shocked everyone by turning up

with a new frizzy hairdo.

I thought she looked

like Charles II.

And her close friends thought she

stuck her finger in the wall socket.

- Dog's in the trash again.

- So go take care of it.

What do you think I am, stupid?

I'm not going out there

alone in the dark. You go.

It's too bad Mom and Dad didn't get

a divorce before you were born.

I love you too.

Talking about getting caught in the

act, guess who got caught in the act?

Who?

- Who?

- Got caught in the act?

- Yeah. In bed.

- Who?

- Stephanie and Joe.

- What? Are you kidding?

Oh my god.

You know what? That must have been the

reason she didn't show in class Friday.

I have her in my third period

class. She wasn't even there.

Well, you know why?

Because she was sore.

They were in bed, and guess

who came up the stairs?

- Where were they?

- They were in her house.

- Her parents' house?

- Yeah, her parents' house.

And her parents came up the stairs.

Oh my god. What'd they do?

So they just made it.

They didn't get caught.

They just kind of

flew out really fast.

There she goes.

I'm glad I've never been in

that situation, aren't you?

Me too. How embarrassing.

What's the big deal?

I don't get it.

Her parents walked in on them

while they were screwing.

I don't think I've been giving Kim

the attention she deserves.

Who would have guessed?

But Stephanie didn't show

up to third period, right?

Yeah, yeah.

- And Joe hasn't been in class for...

- God, I bet they're grounded forever.

- Well, they didn't get caught, right?

- I know, but they almost got caught, Diane.

- Well, it's their fault.

- You've never been in that position, Diane.

- What did we do to deserve this?

- I think we died and went to heaven.

Courtney, what are you doing?

I'm upstairs doing

my biology homework.

Why do I find that hard to believe?

Don't laugh, I have to concentrate.

Ok, but do me a favor and don't

tear out the centerfold this time.

What do you say we order a pizza?

- No anchovies.

- Mushrooms and olives.

Hey, since I'm the only one dressed

I'll go get wood for the fire.

Bring it in through the garage

so you don't scuzz up the rug.

Yuck!

Gross.

Hi, Mr. Contant.

Hi Diane, I hope

I didn't startle you.

- No, not at all. You're on a snail hunt?

- Uh-huh. That makes 53 tonight.

And this is the only

good way to get 'em.

They come out after dark and

they eat up my vegetable garden.

My dad goes on snail hunts too.

He doesn't like to use pesticides.

It's not organic.

- Right. Goodnight, Mr. Contant.

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