The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw Page #2

I mean the American West.

Apparently, there's some frightful female

there called Jesse James.

She's shooting at everyone.

Are you proposing to take our guns

to the colonies?

- They haven't been for some time.

- Once a colony, always a colony.

Mark my words, one day they'll realize

their mistake and beg to be taken back.

JONATHAN:
Hear, hear.

- But to me, the place for a proprietor...

...is within the four walls

of his own establishment.

But don't you see,

my dear old Toynbee...

...I could sell more guns

there in one day...

...than the firm has sold

since the old boy started it in...

In 1605.

America, of course.

Coming in contact with Tibbs' guns.

One of the finer things of life.

Might well raise the level

of the whole country.

The place to sell Tibbs' guns

is in the Wild West...

...and that's where I'm going.

COACH DRIVER:

Hi-ya! Hi-ya!

Ya-ha!

- Have a drink.

- No, really, sir.

- Come on, have a drink.

- Thank you, thank you, no.

- Excuse me, do you mind?

- Of course not.

Sir, I am the inventor

of the Wainwright Cure-all Liniment.

- Oh, will it cure him?

- I think he's applied some internally.

That's great stuff, you know.

It even makes hair grow.

I have plenty of hair,

thank you.

Yeah, but you could lose it.

- We're going through Indian country.

- You don't say.

There you are.

I thought you'd run out on me.

- Have a drink.

- I'd better have a drop.

- It might quieten him.

- Excuse me.

COACH DRIVER:

Hi-ya!

- You going to Deadwood?

- No, Fractured Jaw.

- Ain't anybody ever told you about that?

- About what?

Well, the Box T Ranch

and the Lazy S...

...started a range war

over the water rights.

- Really?

- Ain't you ever seen a range war?

Uh... No, no, I can't say I have.

Well, if you get in between the Box and the Lazy S, you're sure dead.

You see, the Box T men are out to kill

the Lazy S men every chance they get.

That is, unless the Lazy S men

get to the Box T men first.

And they're both out to kill a stranger

in case he's on the other side.

As I won't align myself with either

faction, I shouldn't have any difficulty.

If what you say is true,

it should be a splendid place to sell guns.

Come on, come on, have a drink.

Come on, come on.

No, thank you.

- Boy, you're a brave man.

- No, sir, I'm not brave.

I intend to mind my own business,

that's all.

Should an unforeseen

situation develop...

...a firm hand,

that's what's needed always.

A firm hand.

You mark my words.

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE AMERICAN

LANGUAGE]

[WHOOPING AND SHOUTING]

Indians, Indians. Indians!

By George!

[GUNFIRE]

Savages. I'd hoped to catch a glimpse

of some while I was here.

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