The Rum Diary Page #2

Ah.

What do you know

about horoscopes?

Nothing.

Ah, well, if I can

write one, you can.

So it's every day with

a special "Star's Star"

featured Saturday

with Betty Grable

and Neil Sedaka,

things like that.

So here,

everything you need

is right there.

It's called

"Madam La Zonga Predicts."

What happened to

Madam La Zonga?

He got canceled.

What do you mean, fired?

They raped him to death.

They raped him to death?

There are

very few places

on this island

I decline to visit,

but the toilets

frequented by sailors

on the west side

of Candado Pier is one.

They raped him to death?

La Zonga died in a cubicle.

Say, you're not,

uh, artistic,

are you, Kemp?

Oh, no.

You might want to

rethink those

menthol cigarettes.

They don't do a thing for you.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Come by the house.

I will.

I like your stuff.

The cuttings you sent

to Lotterman.

Oh.

It's good writing.

Thanks.

We'll talk.

SALA:

One more floor!

(BUZZER SOUNDING)

They put in automated

packing machines

about six months ago.

They mechanized

almost everything.

There used to be

Now there's five.

Hence happiness in the street.

Souvenir, day one.

SALA:

Here's to pretty women

with filthy thoughts.

(CHUCKLING)

Want a burger?

No.

Burger?

No, thanks.

Try it. Dos.

So how was the induction?

Somewhat fraught.

No disrespect, Paul,

but he didn't have

a lot of choice.

You know how many people

applied for the job?

One. You.

Ls that right?

Even then,

I thought I'd blown it.

Zeroed in on my weakest spot.

WOLSLEY:

Which is what?

Two and a half

unpublished novels

and references

of equal fiction.

Oh, you're a novelist.

Mmm, in a manner of speaking.

Can't even get read.

So I figured I'd do

some words for money,

see how it's looking

in a year or two.

SALA:

At El Star?

Hate to tell you this

on the way in,

but this publication's

on its way out.

And as far as I'm concerned,

it can't come soon enough.

Not going to happen.

SALA:
You like

a little vonga on that?

I'll give you 1 3 to 2

this thing's over by June.

They're going to cut the cord.

Then why put in

all the new machinery?

Precisely my point,

and he can't answer it.

Well, like I'm tired

of arguing the obvious.

Come on.

Let's eat.

Now, I got to go

and see a man

about a horse.

Good to meet you, Paul.

(SIGHS)

Another night unfolds

over Old San Juan.

You been here long?

Too long.

This place is like

someone you f***ed

and they're still under you.

Why don't you quit?

Life's full of exits.

Because I'm waiting

for it to collapse

so I get the payoff.

Three grand redundancy

puts me in Mexico.

Don't look left.

That's an introduction

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