The Rocker Page #3

Move it, Moby Dick.

Go.

My work here is done.

- That's your uncle.

- That's my uncle.

We've kind of exhausted

all our other options, so...

- I don't have any better ideas.

- Okay, fine. Go talk to him.

Hey, Uncle Rob, can I talk to you?

I will not buy beer for you

and your friends...

...nor rent you my password

to porn sites.

Rent...? No, no. I was...

I was actually just wondering

if you'd play with us at our prom gig.

What did you just say?

I was wondering if you'd play the drums

with us, just for one night.

Absolutely not.

I haven't played the drums in 20 years.

Drumming is pain...

...and I've had more than enough pain

for one lifetime.

Look.

Come... Just meet me up here.

We need a drummer, okay?

And you play the drums.

You've been a pretty terrible uncle

over the years.

Yeah, you only come by when you

need something from my mom.

You never remember my birthday.

You called me Max until I was 11.

Okay, what's your point, Matt?

This is...

This is really, really important to me.

I'm not what you would call

a social butterfly.

You know?

Playing this gig...

...is probably the closest I'm ever

gonna get to...

...breaking the ice with, you know,

the ladies.

You're looking to score.

I can respect that.

Anyway, if you really are my uncle...

...my family...

...you will do this one thing for me.

- Matt, where is he?

- He said he would be here.

He doesn't know the songs,

and I thought he'd be here early.

He said he didn't need to,

he could play with us in his sleep.

He said he feeds on God juice

and miracles spring forth.

Never fear, nios. Got our laminates.

All access. Drives the chicks wild.

Hey, are you ready?

We're on in five minutes.

Five minutes? What? We're headlining.

We shouldn't go on till 11.

It's the prom. It's over at 11.

Wait. So we're on in five minutes?

Seriously, five minutes?

Okay.

Wow. That's... Five minutes.

Eye of the tiger.

Bang a gong, get it on. Bang a gong.

Get it on, all night long, bang a gong,

get it on. Rock me, Amadeus.

Oh!

- I'm gonna be so sick.

- A little pre-show ritual.

- Did you just...?

- Lucky charm.

Some people carry a rabbit's foot,

I rock a pocket of puke.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, A.D.D.

Follow my lead.

One, two, three.

A.D. D, ladies and gentlemen. A.D.D.

Now it's time for your prom king

and queen's first dance.

Stop. Stop.

Woo-hoo! Rock and roll.

Thank you, Cleveland!

Yeah! What a show! Come on.

Mattie, chest bump.

Here we go.

How awesomely sweet was that?

Oh, yeah, if by awesomely sweet,

you mean a horrific train wreck...

...we will never live down, then, yeah,

it was super awesomely sweet.

It was like that scene in Titanic.

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