The Ringer Page #3

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Thank you. Finally, a little humanity.

It doesn't take a smart man

to know what love is.

I love you, Jenny.

- OK. Now you try.

- Try what?

Acting like that.

Come on, man. Start taking this seriously.

- I love you, Jenny.

- Hey! Hey! Commit.

I love you, Jenny.

There, there. Something's missing.

- You should drool.

- OK, Uncle Gary. There you go. Good night.

- Exciting. Isn't it exciting?

- What?

You're acting again.

We ought to come up with a slogan.

A slogan, like,

"Life is like a box of chocolates".

Or, "Take my hands, boss,"

like that monster tard from The Green Mile.

"Monster tard"? What's wrong with you?

What? Since when did "tard"

become politically incorrect?

Good night, Uncle Gary.

I'm going to hell.

My name is Lance, and I like nuts.

My name is Arthel,

and I can count to potato.

Hi, my name is Jerome.

Can I have a slice of your doody?

Hello, my name is Jeffy,

and I like to eat apples.

Boogie-woogie.

- You take care of work?

- Yeah. I got two weeks off.

I told them my Uncle Gary just died.

That's sweet.

Come on, now. Let's not be antisocial.

Hi, my name is Glen.

Guess how many fingers I have.

- Ten.

- No. No. No.

- I have eight fingers and I have two thumbs.

- That's good. An oldie, but good.

Guess what, guess what.

I work at Burger King.

Do you want fries with that?

- What's your name?

- Steve... Jeffy!

Jeffy.

- You talk funny.

- That's cos he's Canadian. Come on.

You know who else was Canadian?

Bill Shatner. TJ Hooker.

And Jim Carrey, the sad clown.

And Alan Thicke, never got him.

And Dave Thomas, not the Wendy's guy,

the other one.

And Alanis Morissette. She has issues.

Hi. My name's Glen.

- God, this is wrong.

- Calm down.

- This is so wrong.

- Will you calm down?

Look, I can't do this.

- You have to. Come on.

- No. Don't make me do this.

- Come on.

- No. No.

Are you all right?

You didn't hurt yourself, did you?

- No.

- Are you all right? Do you need a hand up?

- Do you need a hand up?

- No. Hey. Hurt. Hey.

Can I take just a minute of your time?

You got some schmutz on you.

I'm Lynn. What's your name?

What's the matter, cat got your tongue?

His name's Jeffy.

He's just a little shy.

You know how they are? God bless him.

Cat got my tongue.

Cat got my tongue!

It's a really stupid expression.

Sounds like a bad Dr Seuss title.

- Are you his guardian?

- Yeah, yeah.

It's tough, but someone's gotta feed him,

change his underwear,

show him how to play with his puppets.

Do you have his medical release forms?

We require medical release forms

for all the athletes.

Papers at home.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got all that stuff. It's at home.

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