The Revenant Page #3

I don't know the test for that, man.

Let's just pretend that you're not insane,

I'm actually alive and we're having

this f***ing conversation, OK?

That'd be more productive right now.

F***, I feel like sh*t.

Yeah, but you look terrific.

Oh, f***! Look at your f***ing eyes!

Sh*t!

F***, yeah, it's f***ed up.

Look at them.

Jesus! F***, that is not f***ing cool!

Nasty. Oh, f***ing sh*t, you smell!

F***, you got a f***ing reek on you.

God!

You're really making me feel a whole lot

better about this whole situation.

You're f***ing decomposing.

Jesus Christ, you're f***ing rotting.

Dude.

This is not f***ing happening, dude.

This is not f***ing happening.

I was at your funeral, man.

About that - that was a mistake.

I think I was buried alive.

No, dude.

Yeah.

I f***ing touched you, dude.

You were f***ing dead.

It was f***ing cold.

It was nasty...

(THUMPING)

F***ing neighbours. Really?

Nothing changes.

They're still doing that?

Yeah, still.

F***.

MAN:
Turn that thing down!

My funeral. My f***ing funeral.

Really? Yeah.

How's Janet?

She's fine.

She's fine. I mean terrible.

Terrible, devastated.

You know, destroyed.

Um, and, you know,

she's just trying to deal.

We all are. You know, we were nervous

when you went over there.

We just wanted you to come back safe

and, you know, that...

Your uncle Dave called

and was real nice.

He told me, and then I had to

call and tell Janet,

and she was just...

But...but you're f***ing here.

F***ing Jesus Christ!

It's a f***ing miracle, right?

Jesus...

What's wrong? What's wrong?

Everything- Yeah?

I think it's my f***ing liver, 'cause

I don't know anything about livers...

We gotta f***ing get you

to hospital, dude.

F***ing... You are awful.

No.

We gotta f***ing find a doctor,

find out what's wrong with you.

No doctors. it's just my stomach.

Your stomach?

'Cause you f***ing haven't eaten

in three weeks.

I'm gonna go get you a snack.

You want a f***ing snack,

you got a snack, huh?

I got pizza. it's cold, but, um,

you know, it's cold pizza.

I can nuke it, 'cause it tastes better

if I throw it in the nuker.

No, just bring it.

OK.

You found the medicine cabinet.

Yeah.

OK.

Anchovies?

Yeah.

Since when?

Just"

That's disappointing.

(GROANS)

Oh! F***ing... Dude, that's my rug.

(THUMPING FROM UPSTAIRS)

WOMAN ON P.A.:

Dr Forrest, dial 114, please.

Dr Forrest, please dial 114.

Buried alive?

Yeah.

I was definitely, um...

I was definitely buried.

Um...it's the 'alive' part.

I thought I was dead.

Everybody thought...

You were dead.

Here, check this out.

Do you have any STDs?

Syphilis, hepatitis, anything?

I was killed to death in a gunfight.

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