The Railway Man

(FOREBODING MUSIC)

ERIC:
At the beginning of time

the clock struck one.

A drop of dew

and the clock struck two.

From the dew grew a tree

and the clock struck three.

Then the tree made a door

and the clock struck four.

Then man came alive

and the clock struck five.

Count not

waste not

the hours on the clock.

Behold I stand

at the door and knock.

(MUSIC BUILDS UP)

(CLICKS OF TRAIN WHEELS ON TRACKS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Is that a new Bradshaw's, Eric?

Or one of your world famous collection

of out of date railway timetables?

(THE MEN CHUCKLE)

I have a small problem...

which I suspect this gathering

might find interesting.

Last Thursday

I was returning from a book

auction in Chester

and, learning of a delay

on the Manchester-Edinburgh line,

found it necessary to make a rapid

adjustment to my itinerary,

leaving me just three minutes

to change platforms at Crewe.

(SLOW INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

CONDUCTOR:
Tickets from Crewe.

Tickets from Crewe.

You're on the wrong train, sir.

This is for Glasgow.

The Edinburgh train... It's delayed.

I thought

if I got your train as far

as Carstairs I ought to be

in time to catch

the Manchester-Edinburgh on it's way up.

That should work.

Enjoy your journey, sir.

Tickets from Crewe.

I could have done with you

this morning, in Taunton.

Straight forward enough, surely?

Train down to Bristol Temple Meads...

The Bristol train was cancelled.

Well in that case you could

take it across to...

A friend gave me a lift.

I see. And he gave

me a timetable.

(PATTI LAUGHS)

Look at this...

He marked all of the interesting

things on the map.

Did you know...

Warrington was famous for vodka?

It's also the birthplace

of George Formby.

Hmm... is it really?

Most people assume it was Wigan.

Or Formby.

But it was Warrington.

You know, with all due respect to your friend,

if all he's mentioned is vodka,

he's really only scratched

the surface of Warrington.

The Black Prince.

Remember the Black Prince?

Had all his armour made there.

Warrington was really the only place

to go if you wanted a suit of armour.

A sort of Saville Row in steel.

(LAUGHS)

Goodness!

Maybe we should get off,

take a look around.

Well if think Warrington's interesting,

you wait till we get to Preston.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

Lancaster,

known as the Hanging Town.

Lancaster Assizes hanged more

people than any court in the land,

except for London.

That's Carnforth.

That's where they filmed

Brief Encounter, apparently.

You're too young to remember

that, of course.

Well my Aunt went to see it

with a girlfriend and a couple of sailors,

and she told me that...

whenever the actress...

Celia Johnson. Celia Johnson...

got a bit tearful,

the sailors would shout,

"Come on, Trevor. Give her one!"

Sorry.

I've gone too far.

Promise I'll behave

better from now on.

(LAUGHS)

(CLEARS HER THROAT)

I've never been to the Highlands

before, so suddenly... um...

well finding myself single

again, so to speak,

I... I thought

I'd like to see them.

So I'm going to go up as far as Mallaig

by train and then I'm catching

the coach to Inverness

and coming down the other side.

What do you think?

The West Coast

is extraordinarily beautiful.

You might well fall

in love with it.

And if I were to fall

in love, what then?

Well instead of a coach

to Inverness,

you might consider taking the line

back to Tyndrum and changing for Oban.

And from there you can get

any number of boat trips:

Iona, Staffa.

It's very romantic.

Are you romantic?

I have to be in Edinburgh...

by Wednesday.

ANNOUNCER:
Carstairs,

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