The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes Page #4

Madame would like to know

when you can be ready.

-Ready?

-To leave for Venice.

All the arrangements

have been made.

You will spend

one week there with Madame--

This is all

very flattering...

but surely

there are other men...

better men.

To tell truth...

you were not

the first choice.

We considered

Russian writer...Tolstoy.

Oh, that's more like it.

The man's a genius.

Too old.

Then we considered

philosopher...Nietzsche.

Well, absolutely

first-rate mind.

Uh-uh, too German.

Then we considered

Tchaikovsky.

Oh, you couldn't go

wrong with Tchaikovsky.

We could, and we did.

lt was catastrophe.

Why?

We don't know.

Because Tchaikovsky--

how shall l put it?

Women...not his glass of tea.

Oh, pity, that.

Madame is very happy

with her final choice.

Madame must not be too hasty.

She must remember

that l am an Englishman.

So?

You know what

they say about us.

lf there's one thing

more deplorable...

than our cooking,

it's our lovemaking.

We are not the most

romantic of people.

Perfect.

We don't want

sentimental idiots...

falling in love,

committing suicide.

One week in Venice

with Madame...

she goes back to

St. Petersburg with baby...

you go back to London

with fiddle.

An equitable arrangement.

About my medical history...

when you asked me,

l neglected to mention...

one small detail.

There is hemophilia

in my family.

Huh?

We're all bleeders.

Madame says not to worry,

she will not scratch you.

Well, that's reassuring

to know, but there--

Madame says you talk too much.

You find her attractive

or no?

Well, l...

Oh, excuse me.

What does ''prokyzhynik''

mean?

lt means you little devil.

lt does? l am? Thank you.

l repeat question.

You find Madame

attractive or no?

Oh, l find her

most attractive...

for a woman, that is.

Then no problem.

Maybe a slight one.

You see, l am not a free man.

Not free?

But you are bachelor.

A bachelor living

with another bachelor...

for the last five years.

Five very happy years.

What is it you are

trying to tell us?

Well, l hoped l could

avoid the subject...

but some of us,

through a cruel...

caprice of Mother Nature--

Get to point.

The point is

that Tchaikovsky...

is not an isolated case.

You mean you

and Dr. Watson...

He...is your glass of tea?

lf you want to be

picturesque about it.

...Tchaikovsky?

Believe me, Madame,

the loss is all mine.

But l would rather

disappoint you now...

than disappoint you

in a gondola in Venice.

lt would have been...

catastrophe!

Watson.

Watson, are you coming?

What is it, old boy?

We're going home.

Home? Not a chance.

Not the slightest,

not the remotest chance.

Toodle-oo!

Hey!

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