The Princess and the Pirate

Synopsis: Princess Margaret is travelling incognito to elope with her true love instead of marrying the man her father has betrothed her to. On the high seas, her ship is attacked by pirates who know her identity and plan to kidnap her and hold her for a king's ransom. Little do the cutthroats know that she will be rescued by that unlikeliest of knights errant, Sylvester the Great, who will lead them on a merry, and madcap, chase.
Production: RKO Pictures
94 min

That's not me, folks.

I come on later. I play a coward.

Lower away. Steady, easy as she goes.

Fill her in and there she rests.

Three years of plunder on the high seas.

Enough gold and treasure

to buy a continent.

And no one will ever know

where it is but you, Captain.

- This map is the only key.

- Very good, Mr. Pelly.

- An excellent job of mapmaking.

- Thank you, sir.

- But just one thing, Mr. Pelly.

- Yes, sir?

What if, by some ill chance,

I should lose this map?

Would you be able to draw me

another one from memory?

With my eyes closed, sir.

- Are you sure?

- Positive.

Thank you, Mr. Pelly.

His eyes are closed,

but I do not see him making another map...

and the same fate will befall

any other man Jack among you...

whose memory is too good.

Back to the ship now, my lads.

We have business to attend.

- Hurry now.

- Where to now, Captain?

There is a packet called the Mary Ann

out of Liverpool for Jamaica.

- We shall pay her a visit, Pedro, my lad.

- I know the Mary Ann well.

- She carries no gold.

- Right you are, Pedro.

But I am informed she has on board ajewel

far more precious than gold.

- Ajewel with blue eyes and silken hair.

- You speak in riddles, Captain.

Perhaps, but I tell you, my lad,

there lives a king...

who'll pay a million doubloons

to the one who returns this jewel to him.

But I know of no such jewel.

Good. When you know too much,

you will follow Mr. Pelly.

Make haste, you blasted sons

of unholy mothers.

We're off for the Mary Ann.

Anything on the horizon, Captain?

A ship flying friendly colors,

but I can't make out her name.

- Hold your course.

- Aye, aye, sir.

Your pardon, Captain. Miss Warbrook says

Sylvester the Great is at it again.

She can stand it no longer.

She desires you to speak to him.

Very good. I'll attend to it at once.

Keep a weather eye on that ship.

- I'll be back shortly.

- Aye, aye, sir.

Yes? Come in.

Have you spoken to that imbecile

in the next cabin?

Yes, but he's rather difficult to control.

I don't believe you'll be troubled

any longer, Your Highness.

Captain, I must admonish you.

It's Miss Warbrook on this voyage.

It slips out, Princess. Miss Warbrook.

I'm worried, my lady.

Should the King discover

that I assisted you in your flight...

You have been well-paid,

and I assure you no harm will come to you.

- But, Your Highness...

- All I want is rest and privacy.

- Please see that I get it.

- As you wish.

No, do not kill him!

Do you not know he is your own father?

Father or no father, this cur shall die.

Perhaps my sword shall put an end

to your vain boasting, Rodney Faversham.

Have it, you!

That this should happen to me.

I'm done for, I tell you.

Don't be frightened. I am rehearsing.

This sword doesn't really go through me.

I couldn't stand that five shows a day.

I'm ticklish. Pardon me.

I'm dying. Dying.

Death's rattle. I'm dead.

- I don't mean to intrude on your rehearsal.

- No, not at all.

Sit down and take a load off my eyes.

I always work better with an audience...

especially when they don't outnumber me.

Wait, I'll take off this putty nose.

Fools everybody.

Look, I want to speak to you

about all this noise...

It'll keep. Say, don't go away.

Here comes the high spot of my act.

There's no limit to what I can do.

That's not me. That's a cat.

It keeps coming here all the time.

Stage-struck, trying to get in the act.

Come on.

I've already got seven faces.

I don't need another puss. Ham.

Mr. Sylvester the Great, you've quite an act.

I'm sure you've worked hard at it, but...

I'm glad you appreciate it.

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Don Hartman

Samuel Donald Hartman (18 November 1900, New York - 23 March 1958, Palm Springs, California) was an American screenwriter and director. He and Stephen Morehouse Avery were nominated for the Academy Award for Best Story for The Gay Deception (1935). more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "The Princess and the Pirate" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 12 May 2021. <>.

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