The Pick-up Artist Page #5

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Never underestimate

the power of strangers buying flowers.

- What's your name?

- Randy.

Great name. It's original for a female-looking

girl. May I ask you one last question?

What if this stranger were to say

something really outrageous like:

"You're the most lovely, exotic, erotic woman

I've ever met and I must make love to you"?

- What would you do?

- Depends where he said it.

- You wouldn't want to see if you liked him?

- I'd know after two seconds.

- Don't say that unless you're serious.

- Test me.

There's a special place I'm gonna take you.

It's very private, very hidden.

- Wanna know where?

- Surprise me.

This never happens. This very rarely happens.

I have a perfect communion with this car.

It just needs a little foreplay.

Try it again. It'll work now.

- Do you have magic powers?

- I guess we'll know soon enough.

Did anyone tell you

you're too good to be true?

No, only that I'm too truthful to be good.

Great line. Wow.

You're smart, aren't you? Did you

go to college? No? That's very exciting.

Wow, intelligence to me

is just the greatest stimulant there is.

There's nothing

more stimulating than... than...

- What are you looking at?

- Your legs, and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I thought my intelligence stimulated you.

It does. I've always responded to women

with intensity, but in the past it's been mixed.

I love the arms, but I hate the voice.

I love the voice, but I hate the mind.

Then I have to concentrate on the one thing

that excited me in order to get going.

With you it's different. Everything excites me.

- What are you thinking?

- I'm wondering if we'll sit here until winter.

You're wonderful.

Do you have any idea how great you feel?

You're like silk, you're like cream.

Do you love the way that feels?

Does that hurt?

Are you sure? God, this is paradise, isn't it?

Could you move your arm?

My spine is snapping on the brake.

- How's that?

- Fine.

Is there anything that could make this

moment any more perfect than it is now?

Just one. If you could keep quiet

for the next 15 seconds, I'll come.

It's ten o'clock. She should be here.

This is definitely gonna go down in history

as one of the high points of my life.

Well, I'm glad I could oblige.

Do you feel great?

- I feel fine.

- Not great?

Would it upset you if I chose my own words?

Absolutely not. Look, I gotta get to work,

but let me get your phone number.

No, I can't.

- Why? Are you married? Boyfriend?

- No.

Then what's your problem?

I can fit it right here. See?

The fit is not the problem.

What is?

- I don't give out my number.

- After what we've just been through?

That was in the past.

A phone number's in the future.

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