The Pallbearer Page #2

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at D'Agostino's this morning.

- Cynthia!

- Who?

- Hi!

- Who?

- I'll be right back.

- I'm sorry.

- Oh, Cynthia, come o...

- There's a lot

of single women here tonight.

- Who's coming, Scott?

- What are you talking about?

Cynthia said someone is coming.

It's not that Loretta person, is it?

Because that did not work out.

- Sweetheart...

- Shut up!

What the f...

That is not good dip!

Oh, gee. There she goes again.

Do you see how she,

like, spits?

...before you listen to me, Brad.

- Sweetheart...

- Shut up with the "sweetheart"!

- I don't understand.

You haven't the vaguest...

Isn't that Julie DeMarco?

- I have to borrow a shirt.

- How many times do I have to tell you...

- What are you doing?

- That's Julie DeMarco out there.

Don't you have any regular shirts?

Like, just a shirt?

What are you talking about?

Like that. That's a good shirt.

Don't you have any shirts like that?

- Yeah, I'm wearing it.

- Take it off.

- What?

- I have to borrow the shirt, Scott.

- What is this obsessin

with my clothes?

- I was in love with her, okay?

- So?

- "So"? So I haven't

seen her since high school.

Imagine that she sees me

and I'm wearing the same f***in' shirt!

Look, I just got this shirt.

- Guys.

- He wants to borrow my shirt now.

Whatever. We gotta

do something about the dip.

Lauren's having a frigging

conniption out there.

Did you leave your answering machine

on? I gave Tsumaki the phone number.

I got a line on a couple

of prize-winning dogs.

- What's wrong with the dip?

- Lauren's sisters are

all lactose-intolerant.

"Lactose"?

Don't marry her, Brad.

- Lauren...

- He doesn't care. Julie, Julie.

Is it too much to ask that I could have

one dip for me and my sisters to enjoy?

- What about salsa?

- Salsa! I love... I love salsa.

T... Tom! You remember Julie DeMarco.

She's back in Brooklyn.

Oh! Hi, sure, yes.

Didn't you move away senior year?

- Yeah, Long Island.

- Her father made

a killing in real estate.

Julie's right.

Salsa, guacamole. It is so obvious.

You know what? I think I have

some avocado in the kitchen.

- Let's take a look.

- I just want to tell you one thing.

- Did you ever think salsa or guacamole?

- Okay.

So, you... Wow.

You look, uh, really...

Oh, God.

Well, that's really...

Hey, Mary Lou!

God! Jared Schneidman?

I-I know.

D-Do you know he's engaged?

He is not! Oh, my God!

- Everybody's getting married.

- I know! It's like

a virus or something.

I know. I mean, I was,

you know, supposed to, but...

- Oh.

- You know, it didn't work out.

But, yeah...

But I thought for sure you would

have been snatched up by now.

Oh...

So you remember me?

Tom! What,

are you kidding?

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