The Owl House Page #2

Season #1 Episode #1: A Lying Witch and a Warden

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Eda:
[takes off the glasses] You're not going anywhere.

Luz:
Wah-ah!

[She shoves Azura into her messenger bag and ducks out the back of the tent. She runs, and skids to a stop mere inches away from falling off a cliff. She's clearly no longer on earth, the town before her being made up of far too many arms and teeth. A dragon flies by and is caught by one of said arms. Cut to denizens of the town going about their days: a cloaked figure holding an ice cream cone which eats someone, the legs of what appear to be a giant chicken, a centipede-looking thing opening its mouth to let a winged creature fly out. The latter two kiss before going their separate ways. Cut back to Luz]

Luz:
[backing away from the cliff] Oh, no, no, no, no! What's going on? [shrieks as a fairy approaches her] Oh, hello, little fairy. Are you going to tell me this is all a fantastical dream?

Fairy:
Give me your skin!

Luz:
[screams, slaps the fairy into the ground] Where am I? Did I die? Am I in the bad place?

Eda:
[touches her shoulder] You wish.

Luz:
[sits down on a stool] I'm so sorry! I just wanted my book! If you're gonna eat my skin, [offers her arm and closes her eyes] just make it quick! Just do it now!

Eda:
Eat you? Why would I eat... a potential customer?

Luz:
[opens her eyes]

Eda:
Can I offer you a human foot filled with holes? [holds up a green Croc, then puts it aside and grabs a stick of men's deodorant] A bar of green human candy? Oh, oh! How about this black shadow box that reflects only sadness? [holds a portable tv up to Luz]

Luz:
[looks at Eda and laughs] That's not all it can do. Here, let me see it.

[Luz takes the tv and grabs two batteries from a dish labelled "Human candy! (????)" She puts the batteries in and presses the power button. A jazzercise video start playing with loud music]

Luz:
Voilà!

[Several customers and vendors stop at the noise]

Monster #1:
Huh?

Monster #2:
What's that?

Monster #3:
The sound‐‐ it's so alluring.

[Several monsters are now crowded around the tv]

Monster #1:
[holding up green bills] I'll pay 40 snails for the screaming box!

Monster #2:
I'll give you a hundred!

Monster #3:
Can I eat the tiny person inside?

[all bidding]

Eda:
[looks at Luz] What did you say your name was?

Luz:
I'm Luz. Luz Noceda.

Eda:
[taking people's money] Well, Luz, that was pretty clever... for a human.

Luz:
That's kind of a weird thing for another human to say.

Eda:
Oh, dear child, [take off bandana to reveal pointed ears] I'm not like you. [climbs onto the table] I'm Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles!

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