The Outsider Page #5

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Oh, he wouldn't look at it.

But now that you're satisfied...

...you'll send me lots of patients. Eh?

- Well, Tolle?

- Well, what's wrong, gentlemen?

- You tell him, Tolle.

- No, you, Nathan.

Mr Ragatzy.

My colleagues and I are satisfied that your...

...Rack is the most beautifully

made thing of its kind.

Oh, she's not a "kind" - she's unique!

But there are one or two other points.

The first concerns your fees.

Yes?

Sometimes you've charged as much

as... five hundred guineas!

- Sometimes as little as---

- Well, according to what they can pay.

You charge some people less - I charge

some people more.

But I tell them - you don't.

We consider there should be only one fee

for the use of a surgical instrument.

I cannot agree. I think there should be two.

Nothing - and too much!

You also have no degree, I think?

I have a degree - of proficiency.

I was referring to a degree of medicine.

Oh, an MD, eh? What does that

mean? "Mentally deficient"?

You'll gain nothing by insulting us!

Oh, no, no, no gentlemen! I have a

wicked tongue. I'm sorry.

Sir Montague means that... have you

ever been to a university?

Or walked the hospitals? Or studied anatomy?

Oh, yes, yes - I've studied anatomy.

Where, may I ask?

You may well ask.

In the stockyards of Chicago.

The slaughterhouse.

Are we to understand that you

started life as a butcher?

I never stood in the shop, and cut off large steaks

for men who were too fat already.

I was a poor immigrant boy.

And the stockyards were the only place where I could

learn how one joint fitted in to another.

Yes, gentlemen. The practical mechanics of anatomy.

Well, it's reassuring to know that at

least you've practised on cattle.

Now, look, Ragatzy. Most of us here really appreciate

your enterprise - and your courage.

Then why not do the theoretical

work as well, and qualify?

What?

Spend five years like a schoolboy, learning Greek

and Latin names for English bones?

And what happens in the meantime

to the little children that I cure?

What happens to the people

who's only hope is me?

You ask too much, gentlemen.

If you won't qualify, you must promise to

undertake no case without a surgeon.

Now what is this? The Society of Prevention

of Unemployment Among Surgeons?

It is our duty to protect the public

from unqualified practitioners.

Christ wasn't qualified.

He didn't require a degree to raise the dead.

Mr Ragatzy.

When you can raise the dead, we

will discuss the matter further.

- Till then---

- "Till then", what?

That's for you to say.

All right, why don't you tell your Royal College of

Surgeons to give me an honorary degree?

- An honorary degree?

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