The Odd Couple Page #4

Murray.

What? What?

It's up to you.

Why's it always up to me?

It's not. What do you do?

I'm in.

Um...anybody

call about me?

Call about you?

No...no, not that

I can remember.

Why, were you expecting a call?

Did anyone call for Felix?

- No.

- No.

Were you expecting a call?

Uh, no, I was just asking.

I raise a dollar.

Costs me $1 .25 then, right?

Right.

I just thought somebody

might have called.

Uh, nobody called, nobody called.

What does it cost me

to play again?

$1 .25. For God's sake,

pay attention!

All right, take it easy, everyone.

Calm down.

He makes me nervous!

You make everybody nervous!

I'm sorry! I'll kill myself!

Murray!

Oh, sorry.

That's a pretty view from here.

What is it, 12 floors?

No! It's only 11 floors,

that's all.

See, it's only 11 floors.

It says 12,

but it's only 11 .

Gee, it's chilly in here.

Isn't it chilly in here?

Yes. Very chilly.

Want to play, Felix?

It's still early.

We're in no rush.

We'll be here till 3:00,

I don't know, I just...

don't feel much

like playing right now.

What do you feel like doing?

I don't know.

I'll think of something.

Where are you going?

To the john.

Alone?

I always go alone. Why?

No reason.

You going to be in there long?

Long as it takes.

Are you crazy, letting him

go to the john alone?

Suppose he tries

to kill himself?

How can he kill himself

in the john?

Razor blades, poison...

That's the kids' bathroom.

Maybe he could

brush his teeth to death.

He could jump!

Isn't there a window?

It's only 6 inches wide.

He could break it

and cut his wrists.

He could flush himself

into the East River.

He's not going to try anything.

Listen. Listen.

He's crying.

You hear that? He's crying.

Isn't that terrible? For God's

sakes, Oscar, say something.

What do you say to a man

who's crying in your bathroom?

He's coming.

He's coming.

Sit down! Sit down.

Well, I...

I guess I'll just be

running along...

Oh, Felix.

Felix.

Felix, wait a minute.

Fellas, I can't talk now.

We're your best friends.

Fellas, please, no!

Talk to us.

There's nothing to talk about.

There's just nothing

to say, Oscar.

It's over.

Let me go, please.

Let him go.

Leave me alone.

Stop him!

Come back here!

Get him! Get him!

Stop, Felix!

Felix! Felix!

Break it down!

Break it down!

Let's break the door down.

Break it in.

Felix!

He jumped.

What?

Ow!

[Thud]

[Felix]

My back.

Oh, my back!

My back!

My back.

My back.

Ohh, the back!

Ah! Oh!

Ohh.

Would you

leave me alone?

Ow. My stomach.

What's

the matter?

Nothing's the matter

with my stomach.

I didn't take anything.

Leave me alone.

What did you take?

I didn't take anything.

Don't tell Frances

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