The Odd Couple Page #2

why you're calling.

I'm a week behind

with the check, right?

Four weeks? It's not possible.

It's not possible.

Blanche, I keep a record

of every check in my files here.

I happen to know

I'm only three weeks behind.

Look, don't threaten me

with jail, Blanche,

because it's not a threat.

With my expenses and my alimony,

a prisoner takes home

more pay than I do.

Very nice language

in front of the children.

I'm $800 behind in alimony.

Let's raise the stakes.

She can do it.

What?

Throw you in jail.

If she can't aggravate me

once a week, she's not happy.

Aren't you worried

about the kids?

The kids are living

in their grandfather's house

with a swimming pool

in California.

Can we just play cards?

I said you'd get into trouble.

I should know...

I'm your accountant.

If you're my accountant,

how come I need money?

If you need money,

how come you play poker?

Because I need money.

You always lose.

That's why I need money.

Then don't play.

Then don't come to my house

and eat my potato chips!

Beautiful.

Beautiful, man.

Why are you yelling?

We're playing a friendly game.

Who's playing?

We've been talking since 8:00.

Since 7:
00! I said then

I'd leave at 12:
00.

You want a banana in the mouth?

All right.

All right. All right!

Calm down! Calm down!

Take it easy.

I could arrest

the whole lousy game.

Let's just play cards,

and please hold them up.

I can't see

where I marked them.

He owes money to everyone,

and he still

won't take it seriously.

Life goes on, even for those

who are divorced,

broke, and sloppy.

Hello. Divorced,

broke, and sloppy.

Hello, sweetheart.

Yes, darling.

Yes. Listen, darling,

I told you not to call me

during the game.

I can't talk to you now.

Hee hee hee!

You know I do, darling.

Yeah. Hold on just a second.

Murray, it's your wife.

I wish you were having

an affair with her.

Then she wouldn't bother me.

Hello, Mimi.

"What time are you

coming home?"

"About 12:
00, 12:30."

About 12:
00, 12:30.

Why, what do you want, Mimi?

A corned-beef sandwich

and strawberry malted?

Is she pregnant again?

No, just fat.

How could you hear?

I had the phone over my chest.

Who, Felix?

No, he didn't show up tonight.

What's wrong?

You're kidding.

No. How should I know?

All right, all right, Mimi.

I'll take care of it.

Goodbye.

What did I tell you?

Felix is missing.

What do you mean, missing?

He didn't go to work

or come home.

Nobody knows where he is.

Mimi just spoke to his wife.

Wait. No one

is missing for one day.

Maybe he had an accident.

They would have heard.

If he's in a gutter,

who would know him?

He's got 92 credit cards.

When something happens to him,

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