The Object of My Affection Page #6

Mr Shapiro, this woman has a gay roommate

who shows no signs of moving out.

- Big deal. Everyone's gay now.

- You tell him, Mr Shapiro.

Gay?

S, seora. Ella comparte

su departamento con un homosexual.

Mi hija es lesbiana.

Yo estoy muy orgullosa de ella.

Oh. Her daughter's a lesbian

and she's very proud.

There you go.

Yo soy la presidenta de

the New York Mothers of Latino Lesbians.

Mrs Ochoa is the president of

the New York Mothers of Latino Lesbians.

- Well!

- Good for you. You're a good mother.

We're queer!

We're here!

Get used to it!

Don't f*** with us!

See, Mr Shapiro, my problem is I love

this woman and I want to live with her.

- You make a living?

- Sure, I'm a lawyer.

Oh! Lawyers are the worst people.

Marry me, honey. I was in children's footwear.

Hello?

- Are you there?

- I'm here.

Hey.

Where's Dr Goldstein?

I don't know. Home.

- I thought maybe...

- Yeah, I thought maybe not.

Oh, um, remind me

to never go on another blind date.

OK.

You don't have to. "Just say no. "

Good night.

Good night.

Step, step, quick, quick.

Step, step, quick, quick.

Slow, slow, quick, quick.

Slow, slow, quick.

Very good. Very good.

Very nice, Sylvia. Excellent.

Very good. Much better. Very good.

No, no, no, no, no.

Head up, young person. Head up.

- Please excuse us.

- Sure.

- Hello, Nina.

- Oh, hi, Danny.

- Help.

- Look at me.

- No, no, no, no.

- Please.

Stop it. Danny, stop touching me.

Madame Reynolds!

T- A-N-G-O.

T- A-N-G-O.

T- A-N-G-O.

T- A-N-G-O.

T- A-N-G-O.

Please get up, young people. Get up.

Now, one, two, side step.

One, two, side step.

Glide, glide.

Glide, Danny. Let me see you.

Smile, Mrs Houston.

Let the music carry you away.

Yes!

Quick, quick, step, step.

Quick, quick, step, step.

Quick, quick, step, step.

Young people, well done. Well done!

Oh, he's so sexy.

Gene Kelly?

Mm, yeah.

Not my type at all.

What is your type?

- Well, it varies. Depends.

- Who was the first person you slept with?

- Is this 20 Questions?

- What? I wanna know!

Lucy Jane Parnell.

- What?

- Mm. Bellmore High School prom night.

Gave her a real good time.

- You slept with a girl?

- Yeah. Lucy was my high-school girlfriend.

What happened?

Well, I, uh, went to college

and found myself lusting after

the football team more than the cheerleaders,

so I kinda figured I was gay.

What happened to Lucy Jane?

I guess she got married.

Or she runs an insurance company.

I have no idea. I don't...

She was so nice. Mm.

And an unbelievable dancer.

My God, could Lucy tear up the floor.

- Was she pretty?

- Yeah.

She had these big eyes

and this pouty, little mouth.

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes