The Ninth Configuration Page #5

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talking in whispers with an owl.

- What?

- A big black and white owl. They're common.

I could'nt testify what they were saying.

They were whispering... you understand me?

I couldn't hear them clearly.

And what I don't know for a fact, I don't say.

That's the kind of hairpin I am.

Reno...

No, Sir, the words weren't clear.

Really sir, believe me.

But there is no cypress tree on the ground.

Doctor, its easy to dig up a tree...

...and then anyone with money

can fill in the hole.

I didn't think of that.

No, you didn't.

Is this your dog?

What does it look like? My zebra?

- What do you call him?

- Irresponsible...

... he's ten minutes late for rehearsal.

Out, Sir Lawrence.

Lieutenant Reno is adapting

Shakespeare's plays for dogs.

A labor of love! A f***ing headache!

But goddammit, somebody's got to do it!

We are just getting into Julius Ceasar.

Want to come to rehearsal?

We're doing that terribly gripping scene

where this very noble-looking dalmatian...

... whips his toga around himself - thusly...

and snarls "Et tu, White Fang?"

I'd like to ask your opinion

about a problem in Hamlet.

You see, if i cast a Great Dane in the role,

they're gonna accuse me of -

Frankie, look...

Lieutenant Spinell,

my casting director.

- Hi fellas.

- We're looking for talent.

So far this production is a one-dog-show.

Who's that?

That dog may be Rosencrantz

or Guildenstern.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are males,

this dog is a female.

So we take a license.

Get the f*** out of here.

Ok, I was only suggesting.

Sorry.

Quiet, Sir Lawrence!

Jesus, why do I live like this!

One moment and he thinks

he's Barbara Streisand.

Read the classics. It improves

the whole respiratory system.

Adis.

Quiet! I asked for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

And what did you bring me?

Tiny Alice!

I want dobermans, I want even a collie...

Stop breaking my balls!

Fairbanks...

It is one of my multiple personalities...

I am sister Eve Black.

I understand...

"The little Sisters of the poor"

is a recognised charity, Krebs.

F*** off.

They're all that bad?

He was flying those planes we got

from the Germans, you know..

...the ones that take off from the

vertical and then fly straight?

for no reason at all...

And right after number 24, Fairbanks found

out that he could talk to trees.

You think they're faking it, then?

I don't know..I just got back myself a week ago.

Biggest mystery is Cutshaw, I guess.

Why him?

Well, he wasn't in combat...

So why should he fake it?

And what about Reno? That man owns a

Congressional medal of honor.

He's pretending insanity to get out of combat?

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

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