The New Yoda Chronicles: Raid on Coruscant

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[d]

NARRATOR [READING]:

[d]

We-sa in trouble!

Big trouble!

[BLUBBERING]

It's

an Imperial attack!

I can't figure out

why our sign

didn't throw them off.

WEDGE:

Evacuate to the backup base

on Kashyyyk.

The Wookiees

will protect us!

YODA:

Terrible this is.

Dark times we are in.

Yes.

Allowing Vader to get away with

the Holocrons was calamitous.

Lucky we are that our old friend

answered our call for help.

QUI-GON JINN:
I certainly did!

Hm?

Qui-Gon Jinn here,

ready to pitch in.

Oh, yes,

of course.

That was you

we were calling.

[WHISPERS]:

That wasn't him we were calling.

Know that I do.

When I heard

your call,

I came right away

to help my friends.

It means so much that you...

Master Yoda,

this is Jek.

I'm on my way

to assist Luke Skywalker.

I should be there--

Yes, yes, you thank.

Ahem. Go gotta.

So you didn't call

for me?

Well, of course we did.

We need you too.

For something

only you can do.

Hm, yes.

Help we need, eh,

opening this pickle jar.

You remembered how good

I am at opening things.

Let me at it.

I have a very particular

set of skills.

[d]

What is thy bidding,

my master?

He's tied up right now.

It's important.

Everybody says that.

But it's very import--

[GRUNTS]

B--

[GRUNTS]

Ah--

[GRUNTS]

Oh, hang on.

[RECORDED IMPERIAL

THEME PLAYING]

AUTOMATED VOICE:

Please continue to hold.

Your call is

very important to us.

Please continue to hold.

Your call is

very important to us.

[SLURPING]

Please continue...

Okay, what is it

this time?

My Lord,

Naboo has been routed.

Which rebel-loving planet

shall we attack next?

Yes, it's a place

you know well.

And according to my spy,

Luke Skywalker

is there right now.

Tatooine.

Tatooine?

That would

lead me back home.

W-why did you say it

like that?

One of my chest buttons

got stuck.

[WARPED]:

It h-happens

from time to ti-ti-ti-ti--

[d]

4-LOM:

So you helped

destroy the Death Star?

Well, I don't like

to brag.

Tell me more.

[BEEPS]

If you'd really like to know,

I did play a major role.

It was I who relayed

Master Luke's request to Artoo

to turn off the trash compactor.

[BEEPS]

Not now, Artoo,

can't you see I'm in a meeting?

And at the medal ceremony,

Master Luke nodded at me.

[BEEPING]

Oh, Artoo,

this had better be good.

Or not good!

[PLAYING "CANTINA THEME"]

[CHATTERING]

[LEIA SIGHS]

Wedge and the others barely

got out of Naboo alive.

Oh, as long as the Emperor

has the Holocrons,

he and Vader will hound us

to the ends of the Galaxy.

No place will be safe.

Exactly.

[ROARS]

That's why we have

to attack the Emperor

on Coruscant

to take the Holocrons back.

[MUSIC AND CHATTER STOP]

Kid, you've been sleeping

with that flashlight thing

of yours too close

to your brain.

That's a crazy idea.

You just

said it yourself.

No place

will be safe as long

as the Emperor

has the Holocrons.

There's no other choice.

We have

to get them back, and now.

It's too dangerous.

I say we hide out here

and hope

the Empire doesn't find us.

[CRASHING]

LUKE:

Uh, I think they found us.

Master Luke,

the city is under attack.

Hey,

we don't allow droids in here.

[BLASTER FIRES]

No blasters either.

ALL:

Lighten up a little.

Sorry. Go ahead.

[d]

Master Yoda,

I've arrived on Tatooine.

I only hope I'm not too...

You hope

you're not too what?

Why do I always feel like

a duck in a shooting gallery?

[GRUNTS]

We have to get

to the base on Kashyyyk.

We'll take the Falcon.

This way.

LUKE:

Ah! An All-Terrain

Armoured Transport.

You're trapped,

Skywalker.

Your only move now

is to surrender.

Or run.

Turn this thing around.

Yes, my Lord, at once.

ADMIRAL PIETT:

Forward, hard right, back.

Hard left, forward,

hard right.

VADER:

Sometime this year

would be nice.

HAN:

In here.

[GASPS]

Eh, sorry, wrong bay.

[ALL GRUNTING]

LUKE:

My ship is in this one.

Luke Skywalker.

[GASPS]

[ALL YELLING]

You guys are

pretty popular today.

Luke Skywalker,

I was sent here

by Obi-Wan Kenobi

to help you.

Why should

we follow you?

Who are you anyway?

[JABBA THE HUTT GRUNTS]

He's my new best friend,

that's who he is.

Come with me

if you want to live.

If?

Of course we want to live.

That's the dumbest thing

I've ever heard.

You know,

you really should be nicer

to people

who are saving you.

Argh.

VADER:

I really, totally,

most definitely,

and without a doubt

have you--

Super Droids

to the rescue!

[ALL CHEERING]

Oh, come on.

Not that rust bucket again.

Not to worry.

I'll turn us around again.

Forward,

hard right, back,

hard left, forward,

hard right.

I've had enough of this.

Great going, Threepio.

It was quite courageous

of me if I do say so my--

You'll never escape.

Ah! I need

somewhere to hide.

Artoo, I'm coming in.

[BEEPING]

I'll make us invisible.

Watch this.

Come on.

Why won't you work?

I think this ship

is contagious.

Here comes trouble.

This usually

works.

[ROARS]

Huh?

[GRUNTS]

Okay, now that's cheating.

Works every time.

[BOTH SIGH]

Getting too super-old

for this I am.

Yes.

That was

nearly a tragedy.

Oh. I'll say.

This jar

almost didn't open,

but I got it.

Oh, yes.

Great is your skill,

my friend.

So awkward this is.

[d]

VADER:

...then the Sith Clone

made the ship invisible,

and they all got away.

Lord Vader, you have

failed me for the second,

or was it the third time?

Well, no biggie,

you've got a few more times

before I really get mad.

Anyway, the Rebels

won't escape us for long.

Not as long as I've got

my magic cubes.

There must be some Rebel-loving

planet we haven't attacked yet.

Nope, did it,

did it, crushed it.

Did it, did it, crushed it.

Did it, did it.

Hey, this one stars "old you."

Huh?

Boring.

Yes.

Who would want to see who

they once were in a former life?

Ah, here we are.

Let's go

to the movies.

VADER:

Where are the Senators?

Gone.

icked 'em all out.

[WHISTLING]

EMPEROR:
Hey, you.

Yes?

Senator Yaun

of Bureaucratosis.

I thought

old you to vamoose.

Blah, blah, blah?

Yes, "blah, blah, blah."

Out.

[YUAN SCREAMS]

Gonzo.

Now, let's see

what we've got.

That's not very nice.

EMPEROR:

The Wookiees betrayed me.

And after

I excused them

from the "must wear pants"

rule.

Prepare to attack

Wookiee World.

Its name is Kashyyyk,

my Lord.

It's in the Mytaranor Sector

of the Mid Rim.

Wow.

You're a real

Star Wars nerd, aren't you?

[d]

It's just

a matter of time

before the Empire

finds us and attacks.

Our only choice is to launch

a raid on Coruscant

and get the Holocrons back.

But how?

If I may

make a suggestion...

Let me guess.

A trap?

No. I was going

to say a ruse.

When can you

launch your raid?

As soon as the ships

are repaired.

Chewie, you were

supposed to weld

the green power couplings,

not the red ones.

[ROARS]

You are not color blind.

Stop being stubborn.

Now I have to start all over.

Let me help.

Thanks,

but we don't need your--

Uh? Oh.

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